-3 in 1-

-3 in 1-


I was really excited to get back from library, wanting to flop down in front of my laptop and start blogging... but since ive been delayed it, neh.. the inspiration has subsided to a normal level...

->d' 3 elements: HOPE(sparks)... ANGER(fire)... REGRETS(ashes)....
->Philosohically: the birth.. the rise... and the fall of a Phoenix.... (a sexy one!)

Anyways...., 3 things that I wanted jot down:
1) before i start... *pat pat own's head* i was beaming a few minutes back! i have never been so proud with myself for a very long time for accomplishing the impossible... (i wasnt even this satisfied after singing on stage at KMC greens in front of hundreds of spectators for one of the biggest anual event in Manipal-LAGENDA... on the 17th of december! gosh! i was so freaked out when i first knew about how huge that whole function was gonna be! I presented on a stage facing towards a vast outlook of green and well trimmed field occupied with uncountable number of audience-students and locals around manipal.....Had alwayz been the audience... And whenever i watched ppl my age perform, the voice from the depth starts pestering me and annoyed me for not having the guts to do it! Not anymore! An achievement is an achievement! I overcome my stage fright at last and i sang! I PERFORM! A DREAM I never have thought would ever came true.... it was a great feeling.... really.... ) So today, another record breaking task ive managed is officially calling myself a Medical student aka NERD! I sat for 5! FIVE! LIMA! Wu! GOR! ANJE! continuos hours studying! For once! Hurray! Hurray! hurray hu holiday! AHAHHAHAHAHA! And i am talking about sitting and not even budging to go out for dinner and not even TOILET! funny thing... nature didnt make it's call... lolz! ANYWAYZ, im really overjoyed! PROUD and contended are the more precise vocab to describe my feeling right now!

::ahaha.. who would have guessed...?::

2) Coming to point (dont prepare to yawn coz dis is definitely the total opposite tone compared to the above...) "What goes up will come down..." Ever heard of karma...? I bet u noe! and no, im not talkin about kama sutra u silly! yeah! AND SO! MY FREAKING INTERNET.BROADBAND BILL FOR A MONTH is.......... JENG JENG JENG!!!!! RM 480!!!!!! WAT DA FUCKING FUCK MAN???? Wifey's bill is RM1000!!!!! We almost got cardiac arrest, circulatory shock, concussion all in ONE staring at those faded numbers printed on the pathetic white sheet of invoice stamped BSNL.... Worse still... the ink used was lousy..., greyish.. and YET THE IMPACT WAS WAY BEYOND EXPRESSIONS!! DAMN INDIA! FUCK INDIA! (no, im not gonna fuck it, someone else has too.... im sorry.. thousand and one apology for my ever so-called wonderful and "polite" readers! i noe im usin a lot a lot of indecent word and im reffering to Harryz wif the 'Z' at the back! but it is MY BLOG, so it is MY WISH.... ) Oh lord! i expected indians to be a failure in business after watching Russel Peter! ANd no dude! INDIANS aka tempe aka RI-short form for resident indian here prove me sooo wrong! Coz they outsmart us wif their fake guts! Hokkien we say: Kelenga teeih! DAMN IT! EVEN INDIA's ants have to cari pasal with me! for the past few days, i have been stomping and smacking every ants in sight! NO JOKE! TiCKED me off to the max!

3) Is new year going to be promising...? or will fate brings me to a destination i have not expected....? will i live in regrets...? and swallow the perplexed emotions im dealing with right now.... I behave like a two different person at daylight and in nightlife.... Am i a morning person or am i a noctural? But no... this is harder than i thought... Its so messed up! IT IS! IT IS! IT IS! The only thing that keep me moving and distracting me is studies for the will to want to score well is really overwhelming! of coz any normal person would felt this way... especially me... The reputation as a bright student is filthty now! Im disgusted and im ashamed at my own performance... Call me a kiasu! Call me a perfectionist! YES I AM! I did so well for CPU and medicine juz make me feel timid.... Firstly because im sitting wif a helluva smart arse named jiun kit! ARGH! but hes nice, been helping me alot... sigh.... secondly, i almost failed my two class tests! Anywaz... i think i have deviated alot from my suposedly emo...paragraph.... What should i do...? What do i do...? The end of 2005 does not hold an answer for me.... I guess.... journey in search of my missing soul has to commence right away....

-ADIOS 2005-

`~What an attitude towards 2006~`

`~What an attitude towards 2006~`

In no time... wishes will be heard welcoming a bright brand new year... But have we ever say goodbye to 2005? No doubt anticipating 2006 indirectly send across a message of adios to 2005, but to think of it deep enough... u will manage to make out the thin strand of line seperating the goodbye and the welcome of something new at the same time...

No one will want to mourn over the past because it is a known concept to think positive... No-regrets principle is brought about and is instilled and yada..yada..yada... Aha! I can tell the world that im not in my pleasant mood for the past few days. In another word- FOUL! So, aura of melancholiness has found its way to entertain me and reciprocally I somehow find it rather amusing to dwell in the darkness.... *SULK*

2 days to new year, yet I failed to establish "THE MOOD" the least i had for christmas... wonder why not for new year? Blaming it on my presence in India doesnt suite me: self esteem aint that low. Blaming India itself seems to be too generalized and abstract because I foresee this situation like a few months back before coming to India..... I knew for a fact that I will not ever get bangsar's, klcc's, star walk's and not even a dataran merdeka's atmosphere in Manipal... But hell, i do hope for a change...!! Secretly I do want a better estatic celebration! DUH~! Every teen like me will die for an extravaganza event unless I am labelled "Hilton, Chaurasia... or even something close to "chihuahua" and "simcard" (gosh, i hate not having the freedom to type ppl's name in my own blog! Too public!!!)

Basically, i feel empty... Ever come across these feelings?
"Floating in space of darkness...silence...blankness... and being swayed by mild breeze without any sense of direction.Only guide is the changing course of wind...(if u get what i mean...) Washed by curent of thoughts towards the door of doomed (more of boredom...)
Feeling hollow from the very top of my cranial cavity all the way down to stomache. Im totally drained lar...As if all the happiness and joy has been sucked out from your soul..."

Either from lack of sleep which i highly doubt or rather has been concentrating hard on studies. Half of my feet has entered the nerdy zone ya noe? Sooner... you shall see a bespectacled sulin going everywhere with a thick medical book pressed on her sagging boobs, apearance: slouching, dressed in collared check-boxed huge blouse... Looking ever so goofy! Seriously i wont be surprised... We call this self evolution... Eventhough evolution happens over centuries but this particular changes does not follow Darwin's Theory. Rapid evolution theory introduced by SuLin the Geek! Then i will never be sexy anymore... Then i will never be the hot chick anymore.... *sigh... sigh.... sigh.....*

And no I dont even have a resolution...! -Pathetic- Not like my resolutions are listed down to be followed.. but for the sake and fun of squeezing them reso from my brain cells... Then pompously state that "neh... i never kept mine too..." Muahaha~ Well, all that are no longer in trend here. On the other hand, we the nerds only chant... "we..do..not...have...r..e..s..o..l..u..t..i..o..n... and we do not need one...........................*yawns*

*SMACK! combo of backflip DDTC!*
gosh.... get A LIFE and get alive DUDE AND DUDETTES!!!
wait for my next entry about : The Regrets of 2005 instead of Resolutions of 2006
(since every Tom, Dick and Harry or every Susan, Sue and Sally write about resolutions!)

.........thufffff.................

~JoLLy and SiLLy

~JoLLY and Silly~

Heres some lame modified version of christmas songs in conjuction to the end of 2005 christmas:
-Jingle bell.. Jingle bell.. Jingle down the drain... Juggle everyone's balls!
-Silent night.. holy night... lustful night...
-Dis is season to be SILLY! Shalalalalalalala~

:: Spot me in santa hat~! ::

::the limited edition of santa's helpers::

::parading outside lecture hall (no wonder ppl were staring at us like a bunch of morons::

The eve's was great... =) spending time with the love ones is the sweetest comfort u can get here... Obviously i dun have my family here (anwayz, not like my family will celebrate christmas, screwed up family yet i LOVE each and everyone of dem! HEHEHE) So us, ie: me, mel, dailou, enghan+ alicia, amanda and sonam made our way to saif parivar- a more decent proper restaurant in Udupi (a town located in the vicinity of manipal) It will only take 15 minutes IF the oto driver has the brain or the guts to accelerate and risk our life but yesterday we had to come across the first ever so careful driver that tested our patience!!!! ARGH!? Me and mel were late...as usual... Since when are we punctual? Gosh, really, i personally think our future boyfren is gonna suffer.. thufff~ Another uninteresting event to mention, we forced dailou outta his bed to come wif us. recently, he has been damn anti-social. we even planned on buyin the lunch buffet today without asking him beforehand!

Anywaz, i spent half of our dinner time standing outside the balcony of the restaurant to make phone calls all the way back to malaysia. first i only wanted to call kukucheh and chris and sugit coz they are like christians! lolz but i ended up calling the rest of my family! cudnt get my dad thou~ Shereen and d' geng ate at blue water *sob sob...*

::need i say more....? (before dinner)::

Right after dinner, we took oto back to manipal! WOHOO! HIT THE CLUB TIME!!!! AND DRINKING TIME!!!! 1/4 of my whole class (total: 130) were there! COOL! and my batch was dominating the dance floor! lolz... ALOT OF DEM were freaking tipsy and drunk-came out wif unimaginable stunts! dailou told us he saw ppl throw bottles at other before in club but not throwing friends... *sigh...* yup, dat was one of the highlight! damn! Lee almost broke his damn neck man! falling from a height as high as enghan! But it was way cool! Meet shereen there. didnt get a chance to drink with her thou. Well... i will make sure new year we are gonna enjoy together!

Oh yeah! i forgot to mention! i love my dressing for the past two days. me looked like santa's sexy lil helper!! The eve's and christmas day, dresscode was damn christmassy despite the fact that i was wearing black on saturday-wanna potray a black christmas lar konon..! me and wifey bought santa hat and were wearing dat to almost everywhere we went! and those indians were staring at us like two morons on the loose!!! HAHAHHA! Untill a point,we were shouting merry christmas to everyone we saw on the street. ...not to mention wavings....

::within the arms of giants from batch 16!!! tell me about being tall, i look like a midget here! Aaaaaaa~ (from left-marcus,dheeraj,pashvin, hussein wif his weird bell nails, navin(pseudo bro-in-law,hehe) and last but not the least HARRYZZZZZ!::

::constipated look::

::lunch buffet which cost me freakin 333rs for lousy meal::

Memento in memorandum~

Memento in memorandum~


You know...? sometimes when u are just too disturbed and your brain becomes too saturated to even brood over every single irritating and annoying recent incidents that have been happening in your life... All u want to do is, point your bloody finger at everything or everybody else and start blaming them?

Yes dear...I am having this damn syndrome right now! I juz stepped into the library not long ago- was about 10 minutes back… placed my ever bulky books on the table... down... got comfortable... took out my papers, notes and pen when I NOE THERE IS SOMETHING AT THE BACK OF MY FREAKING MIND that is distracting me...even till this moment!) I have been thinking about this matter again and again and again (repeating it till outta breath...) throughout the short walking distance from my lovely comfy room to the library...Mentang mentang lar room cannot study and library can... SEE WHAT happens now??? I do not freaking noe wat I want! I really do not noe!!! series of interesting events are happening in my life lately… INFACT QUITE! and they are getting more and more annoying one after another!

Thus, I am here in the library’s comp lab and im actually paying 10 rupees to blog! I cant stop my sudden urge to blog! To tell the whole world my feelings! Actually not.. but yeah... I strongly feel like expressing myself... I do...

ME, MYSELF AND I!!!!! ARGHHHHH~ Prony..., im feeling quite miserable... studies not goin well... dats minority! The major thing is I am missing someone badly back in Malaysia... I really have no idea as of how my feelings brought me there... Since yesterday, I have been thinking about IT! Thinking about how messed up my situation in my hand now... I do feel like tearing, I feel like shouting and screaming with full force at the top of the mountain! I do wana turn back time and let moments replay... I don’t wanna hang on to memory...It kills...
"Wouldnt it be wonderful to let time brings me back to childhood... safely and soundly cuddling under the warmth and protection of my mum... far far away from any tight spots…" In malay we call it “Kerunsingan” I pray that this "thing" is temporary... I pray that im just in my usually lost,indecisive, dellusional thought....

But then again... Who am i to hope now...?

No divine tears can clear a murky situation like this... No prayers can make amendment to a sin i think i have committed... No consolation can feed a beast who is hungry for answers.... Am i this bad..? Why do people need to lose something for them to learn how to be apreciative..? I regret... I regret... I regret... Regret for behaving the way i never wished to be.... Regret for hurting so many people... people whom i noe i can never have back even in my next life... (coz a person like me does not deserve them... ) I regret for not voicing up... i regret for jumping into stuff. (ive alwayz tot i have been a very indecisive soul.. but i had to be extra fast in particularly one matter... a decision which is changing my destiny... as such i have tried rescueing but i have a strong evil feeling that my strength isnt strong enough to support the predicted catastrophe follwing up... i smell tinge of broken promises... i sense the scary numbers of heart that is going to be scraped and scarred... the pumping device known mechanically and medically but a mysterious pouch of emotion.. the one and only which can be wounded by words... wound that never healed.... A teritory with unknown translation of emotions... in which the rise and fall of anyone depends on it... Something that we fail to comprehend... But what else is the truth.....?

Reports: Agent Sue
Case: Unsolved
Comment: The truth is out there (LABELLED: THE X-FILES.......)

Euthopia!

Euthopia!





WOHHOO!!!! I FEEL DAMN GOOD NOW! I FEEL DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN GOOD! AND I DUN FREAKING care if the world split into two right now! As long as i am alive and everyone else is... thufff~ (err... den it matters afterall.. but dats not the point! )

The best thing in life is dealing with what I treasure! Wat i believe! and its BETTER den best if someone else thinks just like ME! or at least approved of wat i have to say!

Who cares about commitment!? Right now i dun! maybe a few minutes later i do. BUT its wat i feel dat matters now!
Anyways, just wanted to take this opportunity to say I LOVE U BEBE!!!!!!!!!
We fight like theres no end to everything yet we can yap grandma's stories (grinsss~~~~) for freaking 2 hrs and that would have continued if we werent having time constraint. =)
*winks winks*

I never knew I have missed out so much of impressive changes in u! And learning so much about us in 2 hrs??? LAUGH OUT DAMN LOUD! *Biggg Bigg HUGSZZZZ*

KUDDOS for the both of us!!!

I HATE THE WORLD!

I HATE THE WORLD!

FUCK THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!

EVERYONE IN IT AND EVERY SINGLE THING!!!!
I AM BEING EXTREMELY SENSITIVE FOR DIS PAST FEW DAYS and I AM GONNA SCREW IT! COZ I AM GONNA BE LIKE DIS FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS!!!!!

NEURO FURRY! ALL DIS IS TOO MUCH! I WISH I HAVE A TIMER OR A CONTROLER IN WITHIN MY GRASP SO I CAN HALT EVERY MOVEMNT! AND LET ME BE THE ONLI one MOVing!

I AM SICK OF BEING TOO NICE! IM SICK OF DISAPOINTING THE ONES I LOVE! I AM SICK OF HAVING TO PRETEND! I AM SICK OF MAKING MY GOOD FRENS , girls and guys included feeling shitty! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHY DO I FEEL SO INSECURE! WHY DO I LOVE THNKING NONSENSE??? WHY DO I LOVE USIN WHY???????

~mushroom and tomato~

~mushroom and tomato~

elizabeth - went on a shopping spree says:
"how mess up can u be....u r su lin"

Trust me, i can be really screwed up sometimes... until the level in which it never strucked me that i was SCREWED! Today is a good example... A lesson to be learnt... An enlightenment i have earned... A joy to be celebrated... AND A LOVE I SHOULD SHIELD...

For the darkest, most appalling moment... I thought that I, Su-Lin... (the girl who is alwayz proud at the way her life caught her into tight situations, coping well in untangling up certain hard to sort predicament and managing what seems like an impossible now...) failed to lead the almost perfect life by making a huge mistake. A mistake i thought i can never traced back the origin and find the remedy for it. I had to be greatly disturbed with one simple question/statement. "Are u playing?" HUH?! That question struck me like a thunderbolt eh! No JOKE! Sigh.. refering to my nickname on msn a few weeks back : HIDE and SEEK, i think that is the game i am playin now....

I am hiding from reality and yet venture out seeking for an answer which is already in front of me... I know i have A LOT of things to learn... I have a long long list of goals clearly and ambigiously carved in my brain to be crossed out and express : YIPEE! Also rectify my many anonymous behaviour i am yet to discover! But getting something ive alwayz wanted (yes, it is hard to believe) and sorta devoting myself in it is like buying a sure gain 4D number! So, now! I AM CONVINCED that i was wrong for thinking so~~~ I have ponder really hard...

I think i was merely confused... Aint ready to step into a totally whole new world... Experiencing an entire new phase of my ever so complicated life (and no, i dun mean medicine course u doofus-donkey in shereen's language) Apart from that... succesfully letting go of something like a false, one sided hopr and affection for pig was not what i had in my schedule in the near future. There i was blindly and foolishly telling a lie to myself that things between me and him wasnt really wat it was supposed to be. giving myself the silliest excuse i conjured...Thuffff~ Guess, i will never know for a fact about how my past went wif him. Coz he sux in being someone who failed me too many times. AT LEAST TELL me LAR idiot! Of course i will move on and be happy for u! AT least i dun have to feel so stoopid now! (errrr... two weeks back) Thus, i take it as, u NEVER consider me as ur fren! HMMPPHH~

seriously... i have feared that this whole thing is a rebound... A way to channel my grief by falling into someone's outstretch arms... Great job mushie... U really proved me wrong... *winks* A story of tomatoes of mushnrooms... is yet to be completed... And i shall paint it too... Just you see...

P/s: saturday anual dinner was a magnificent night!
1) I wore sari for the first time WOOTTTT!!!



2) kevin su (still my eyecandy but onli eyecandy) LOLZ! came and asked me for a pic together! Man i was flattered!




3) Went clubbing in sari! never felt better on the dance floor! Not even in miniskirt and those lovely tops. ^-^


4) last but not the least, jeng jeng jeng! The beauty paegent princesses~ HEHE!

Deprived~"Pisces" Vs. Leo (pun-intended)

Deprived~"Pisces" Vs. Leo (pun-intended)

YEAP! First Malpey. Now this! I cant believe it! I CANT!

DEPRIVED! YES i am! DOH~ Having to wake up after sleeping off in a throbing headache and directly being enlightened with the news that U are YET again being ticked off or rather forgotten or left out or watever shit u call it, isnt at all that pleasant...IN fact it was shitty! maybe, i wasnt even included in the list.


Being labelled SHOPAholic when all i did was last minute shop for ANUAL NIGHT attire, bangles for ANNUAL NIGHT and tika or ANNUAL NIGHT dinner! Thfff~ Very REASONABLE indeed. So, i wudnt be surprised if someone call me a shopping freak and a shopping obessed when i run my normal megasale shopping in a proper mall next time!

What am i asking for? At least an sms would have done the magic! At least i know you(plural,referring to all) care to inform EVENTHOUGH you noe i am a freaking pig that fail to get up once i knock out. At least i dont feel so left out when i get to know that u actually send a msg telling me u guys are off to ur happily-originally-suposedly-cancelled dinner at udupi!

I didnt say I wasnt interested! WATS wif the assumption and presumption wanabe suddenly? How can u guys assume that i will not be interested for a good dinner? How can u presume that I AM not into things like dis?! JUz becoz and all in the name of blame on the AssumPTION of i was in udupi like for half a day walking under the hot sun finding for proper last minute ANNUAL DINNER ATTIRE! When everyone has got their stuff sewn or at least has sent it to the taylors! Hearing them brag about this sari, and dat suite and bla bla bla...And wHen i said i have Zero (mind me, I seriously and completely have zero proper costume to wear if i were not to go to UDUPI today!!!!) As it is, I feel so unwanted and inexhilarated about going to the annual dinner. all thanks to the so-not-sporting friends! Now, i am gonna show dem. however i will show. Will think about dis later! damn it! As far as i am concern, i didnt say NO for an answer about the dinner. I even checked my conversation history to see whether i might have implied it off handedly, BUT NO, i didnt!

Back to the whole mess! Me being the middle person, yes, and someone who alwayz try to please both parties, i definitely do feel bad if i dun attend a birthday bash i was called to. Of course i would have gladly gone there alone if i was the onli one invited and NOT being told to pass the msg to ppl "AROUND" me. I would gladly went there myself and feel less bad for forcing it down ppl's throat about attending the thing! Sometimes, u juz have to be obliged to things. Sacrificing sometimes wont do any harm! at least show ur dumb face and pretend to be happy. Think of it dis way, wont u want more ppl to come if u are being surprised? Its juz the feel and adding on to the atmosphere afterall. Probably my presence here might be insignificant at all cost but I do noe, it does make A difference. It is the the PR. Though I noe some ppl juz dun give two fucks about the amount of ppl and onli care about the quality of ppl presence. So wat? That is juz U! I CARE! and i noe how it feels like! For god sake, wat do u expect? u want it ur way, have it ur way? den dont fear of being an outcast. why fear for something u dun belif in??? U want something, U dun juz get it! U earn it! Its alwayz the law of society. Wanna make a difference? Then use a way where everyone is capable of accepting it! changes comes slowly, not abruptly.

Good enough, im freaking hungry now after a whole stretch of being angry and looking at my sullen in the mirror! God, i was deprived! Now, i just gotta learn to be a loner and feed on my own miserable thoughts. Yeap, shoot me! I quinch my thirst for attention by gambling by own shower of joy! Being pleasant can be annoying sumtimes, but the pay off in my view is more than i can ask for. Because, these are the things I set for myself in life. And i alwayz ended up getting the things i've wanted. So, am dead or wat that i am stuck in between layers of relationship coercion and being the me, my friends would have expected? Sorry, my way is no way if u cant seem to look and at least try to understand how my way works.

But whatever it is, there is NO excuse for temporarily disregarding the feelings of a fren, underestimating the impact a leftout friend might feel , overlook the need of friend to share and enjoy, and most importantly ASSUME AND PRESUME. Especially when u are NOT dealing wif Hi-Bye frieds or friend u are reluctant to attned a birthday bash for! Just put urself in my shoe.

Beyond comprehension.. Is dis wat life is all about..?

Beyond comprehension.. Is dis wat life is all about..?


I see.... I feel... I hear... I sense... I believe... Then I question... And i doubt....

Sometimes...when ur pal seemed disturbed, will it ever affect you? Telling you that he just doesn't seem to have a pleasant intuition... Thus u start pondering, you fall straight into a loop of questionaire till you get a justified answer to suite your thoughts or plaster the leakage of principle which happened over a tick of second...

I have questioned myself before... Not once, not twice, not millions of time... but the rare moment that struck me hard from time to time is sufficient to replenish the need to want to know the life after death...? purpose of life...? who are we...? why us? destiny? karma? how far our galaxy extends...? why is bermuda traingle behaving this way...?

and this will persist onto rather silly thoughts, wild imaginations that i cant seem to comprehend... are there giants somewhere else in the galaxy? is our milky way juz a dust particle of another world? and dat another world is just a minute sand together with zillions of the same worlds within more internal worlds collectively form a whole new larger world? wat da fuck???

HAHAHAH! I KNOW it. People who want to try understand and outsmart the limited explanation by creating theories (which i am referring to myself indirectly) are just finding for problem. In cantonese: taak han mou si chou, kau si. Direct translation: too free nothing to do, find for problem. I have answer to all the unexplainable phenomena.... HOW?

Just by being plain dumb. Believe in paradoxes.... (again, wat is beliefs...? a channel to seek for solace~)

"Life is simple yet complicated"

Needless to unearth mystery of the world... mystery of life... leading a life which u are contended should be the key to happiness... ITS MY LIFE! and i direct it! i paint my own path and passages of life... DO wat i want today! (i shall make no comment about not regretting it thou) And do NOT give two fucks about people whom trampled upon your esteem. but then again.. without those ppl, u wouldnt noe wat is pride then. without ppl who made u sad.. u woludnt noe wat happiness really is...

Conclusion: it alwayz comes back to one thing: Yin & Yang

-POET-

i wish hatred would grow instead of exasperation...
turnin back...,
travelling on the arm of clock seem to tell no lies
for all those time when memory was the only measure of transport through the tide...
i was left with no choice....
but to try...
that was the sole journey i made to strive yet i meet no sunrise...
i run till paralyse and cry till i dry...
a knot made tight cannot be untangled till i die...

I loss my pride along with the war...
Claiming them back is as hard as rising in love
(coz usualy ppl fall in love~)

Onli Love,
Su DASH Lin, 28 November 2005

COPYRIGHT RESERVED FOR THE SAPSTIKATED, BLINDED AND HEARTBROKEN. DOH~ Sorry Yaar~ APA LU MAU! LMAO! lick ur mum's arse man!

...(I don't give a shyt yet I do)'s entry...

WAY TO GO!!!!!!! Spices of life with a tiny weeny mixture of temper, hyperness and bengang-ness!
AND CAN U BELIEVE IT!!!! I PUT on my miniskirt after 2 and 1/2 months!!! IM THRILLED but when u think of it (hard enough) How pathetic can that be...? Flattering or weird? *thinking, thinking...* I wonder la? Knowing me, sulin used to wear miniskirt almost everyday in college!!! And here, I got to wrap myself up wif long pants and T-shirt and auntiesh blouse everyday…sometimes kurti… another time suite... (0.o) So, is there any difference if I were to wear baju kurung and tudung the whole day for 7days in a week and 4 weeks in a month??? Thff... (Sorry being a lil racist here, dodge for any catabombed tomatoes,potatoes and cabbage aimed at me)

Oh yeah! I’m so pissed at EVERYONE! For leaving me out of the whole itenary! I know dis is very childish but fark it!!!! FUCK EVERYONE! Go fly kites man! I wanna get angry and I DUN GIVE A DAMN SHIT! Sometimes I wonder why I make a huge fuss about small matter... sigh~ But I cant help feeling left out and unwanted... although it might not be true and the reason why I didn’t know was due to unsuccessful chain message… thus resulting in me in not getting the information that I should actually be getting... WTH?? I kepala oso pusing reading the above sentence... @.@
(Excuse me again for cursing... Hussein, I noe it doesn’t suite me when vulgarity comes out from me... but just cant help doing it because it is an easier alternative to cool down)

Next on my random crap: I collected 3 Punjabi/ Karishma suites and one top from Raj fashion today at 9.30pm... (Well, my point is… the shop had closed by then and being the dumb me... I went right in front of the shop at that hour thinking it might be opened for me???) Well, the auntie is nice enough to layan me…It was very nice of her... I juz love her!!! MMMmmuah~ She was having dinner or was about to have it with her husband. Tskk... tskk... tskk~ Bad bad sulin... Gosh... felt quite guilty... Never mind about that first... Am gladful and satisfied with all my suites I got them tailored! They look wonderful! Gonna start my Punjabi suites marathon next week. (Peace sign) A celebration for finishing my first block successfully! Whether or not I made it through with flying colours or just barely scrap through the passing border... THAT IS ANOTHER STORY... Maybe not... the idea of finding out the upcoming horrible results being displayed openly to the public while letting all the kpc seniors checking out sulin's grades doesnt sound too appealing to me...(I am saying this becoz I have my reason and vision in dis matter... Ive kena dat from busybody LUM KAH YEN for Viva grade) Might just crush me right away. Indicating the down fall of Sulin the Great... -.-"


Jeng, jeng, jeng! This is a must to note down! I have a feeling this is an occurrence of once in a lifetime thingy! Just like spectators of the plane crashing activity through the walls of The World Trade Centre & looking at real ice falling down in Subang Jaya on one unexpected evening! (which I missed, I was barely 10 minutes away from Subang when that incident took place... stoning away at Pacific insurance booth chasing flies and annoyingly cursed in my heart at rude passer-bys, what to do? Who ask me to work as a product demonstrator? ) Anson Ngiam Choon Jin aka grasshead of the Shakespearian Animal Farm, the ever tensed up, stressful, depressed, unhappy, miserable, anxious, apprehensive, restless, full time worrier (LOLZ.. sounds like warrior) EMO friend CAME TO EDGE! Truthfully, I was stunned beyond words... However, due to homeostasis and equilibrium which everyone supposedly should have (learnt that in physiology)... he made a run and vanished when everyone else was on the dance floor! WTH~ Anyway... it’s always the first step that matters. According to his couz, sometimes we just have to start somewhere and do something as the stepping stones. Somehow, it can be applied here. =)

Conclusion: I LOVE INDIA...

By the way (again), I cant seem to take off my skirt. Am still wearing it eventhough ive been backfrom clubbing for 3 hrs.



Only Love,
Su-Lin, Tan (02:38am)

no turning back...

I wonder whether heavy thunder and huge droplets is gonna follow up this windy, moody sky.... *stare blankly at the sky through the window right beside me...*


Or isit just me...? Looks like Im gonna have to declare today as emotional day....

Things have been happening and I wasnt even prepared to listen to this so soon... It hurts alot... But to think the person wearing the pain and walking through the ache is going through an appalled, confused phase hurts even more... Who would want to be cheated..? Who..? especially when it is someone so dear to you... U gamble the least of trust u can manage to dig out from ur heart into him, putting the word "family" at risk... Waited for almost a year... When finally... u are cherished with an unimaginable bliss.... The truth has to be revealed... Or rather, rumours have to spread superbly fast from one soul to another creating such scene....

To love or not to love?
To trust or not to trust?
To love and not to trust?

To observe someone so naive and innocent..., full of array of joys.. bright and shiny like a polished diamond... It was like she has found herself... She has finally discover her missing piece... Now...,the abrupt fall that hit the fairytale she has alwayz wanted is not easy...

I havent taken my stand... to believe or not to believe... its juz hurtful and upsetting to see her losing grip and looking totally lost and helpless... And this time shes alone in the decision making... She picked the route to today... She picked a route of solitary without the usual pillar of mummy and daddy... She has me... But i hardly can do anything unless HELP HER KILL DAT JACKASS! I swear i will make him feel sorry for knowing me and her if at all the whole thing arent juz as simple as rumours and misunderstandings...

"However there is no turning back....
Falling into a spell a strong as Love is like falling eternity withinthe space....
My opinion: wait till another hensum astronaut to rescue you.. Fingers cross hoping that he brings along extra oxygen tank"

*long sigh..*

By the way... Im missing my kenari....SO SO SO SO MUCH! I miss the time I can juz pop my butt into it and start the engine, swerve on the road... I miss the driving-with-style feel... Speed and travel with the wind...(along with a few summon tixs) LOLZ... I miss KL road. I miss the heavy traffic... I miss civilisation....

QUES: wats is Trendelenburg's positive test? Ans: trend of elephant and bug! DAMN it!

Pss.... come ere'.....

BOOYAH!!!!!!!!!!! *cleared throat* I, me, mua, watashi, saya, wa, aku, wo, yeneke ingin mengambil kesempatan untuk memohon ampun dari para peminat blog aku... due to the vulgarity episode or scene I made in my previous entry....

Anywayz.. today is yet another brand new day... HOW??? (shit! ive just noticed how have been using the sun.., birds... and the bees... to start heating up a blog entry for this past few days!!! wassup wit me!) W-A-T-E-V-E-R~

Guess wat ppl? I sat for my block exam today (block=semester)... It was Anatomy i am talking about! ANAT! ANAT! GROSS anatomy, histology and embryology!!!!! The fear factor that every medical student has! It is juz like sitting for a chemistry exam by Kimberly... where u juz stare at the paper from one border to another... upperleft right to lower left right angle absorbing all the weird terms and signs.. specchless..! Of course anat is not about calculation but.... ONE muscles with its origin, insertion, nerve, artery and nerve supply together gether with the course and relation CAN send u straight to level below hell if u do not do constant revision! And yes... Dr.Sexy Tan here was still in dreamland... thinking... she could make it without much effort! AHA! Never in my entire life i had gone for an exam so freaked out. Nonetheless... I was obviously unprepared for such important exam... yeah.. cant believe myself either...

anwayz.. not much of a story to tell.. not like im emo too... i cant seem to write when im sleepy... IM SOO SLEPPY! okok... another day shall arrive along with the inspiration i needed to blog................................................................................. till den.... CHIWOZ! pray for my physio exam tomorow.......

SUX!

WARNING: 18 SX! (not suitable for kids especially shereen and sugin, wanna read dun come after me!)

OK DUDE! BLOGGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM IN my most very paling tersangat lowest self esteem! why everythin i do, i feel like something is wrong!????? i dun care about wat others say! I did great! so wat! I DUN THINK SOOO!!!!!! I SUCKX IN EVERYTHIN ! EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!

AND NOW someone is gettin on my nerve without much reason! wat da fuck man! !!!!! she juz secrete SUCH FOUL SMELLY AURA AND MAKES ME HATE HATE HATE HATE despise LOATHE heR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DUN FREAKIGN CARE!!!! DO NOT LEAVE ANY COMMENT ANYONE!!!! IM WARNING U GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAUGHTER OF THE LOUSIEST FAGGOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FREAKING BITCH!!!!!!!! BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GUESS WHO I AM REFERRING TO???? DAILOU's SO CALLED manipal's BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THINK SHE WILL die earlier isit if juz smilE ABIT! DAMN IT!!!!!!!! HOW MANY TIMES I CAUGHT BEING SUCH A DUMBASS!!! THINK U ARE DAMN GREAT! GO GET URSELF LAID AND BE PROUD ABOUT IT LAR!! OR JUZ STRIP IN TIGER CIRCLE AND WAIT FOR THE yellow dirty oily indian loser wearing yellow teeth shag U !!!!! DMAN U!!!!!!!!!

SEE! now no longer the sulin dat u guys normally NOE!!!!!!! IM FULL OF VULGARITY! IM JUZ USELESS!!!! IM JUZ USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN ANYWAY! WATS DA POINT WE GOTTA WEAR FREAKING MASK EVERYDAY TO COVER everythin beneath!!!!!???? WHY????!!!!!!!!!!!

I ALWAYZ LET opportunity FLY AWAY!!! FAR FAR AWAY!!!!! i never noe how to grasp it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO WAT THERE IS ANOTHER CHANCE IN THE FUTURE????????? I JUZ DUN FUCKING CARE ABOUT FUTURE AND BE POSITIVE!!!!! DATS JUZ BEING IN DENIAL!!!!!!!! YEAH!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I WANNA THINK OF THE MOST NEGATIVE THING I CAN EVER THINK OF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the ebb and flow of weather... rain... partially winter...

:: i love dis pic!!! how many times have u taken candid shoots under umbrella while raining..?::

I suspect that winter has arrived in the northern piece of land here in India... A huge drop in temperature can be felt as recent as the beginning of last week... No doubt the sun is still glaring brightly here while tanning ME up like an over-bbqed chunk of meat in the afternoon...., but the weather at night is V...E...R...Y... COLD! *Bbrrrrr~* Guess it must be due to the wind course.. Make my sole and fingertips all frozen up and all I wanna do is wrap myself up comfortably under a few layers of blankets...jackets and socks... We call it insulation-generation of thermoregulation thus obtaining homeostasis! (WTF! DAT DAMN QUESTIONED WAS thrown directly on my face during Viva and I just fucking stoned at the lecturer! And oh yeah... I had my Physio Viva exam as lately as today... Some sort of oral test in Medicine school!) To make things worse... by cuddling myself warm.... I eventually am heading to catastrophe! COZ I have EXAMS (block exam dis one week) and I KEPT FALLING ASLEEP!

*sighh.. gruntle... mumble...* I can't believe I managed to study for 2 minutes and fell asleep and woke up one hour later... study for another 15 minutes and fell back into dream-full of sleep! ARGHHH!!! The amount of time i "woke up-look at the table clock-stoned-stared at one sentence in physio journal-set alarm-sleep-dreamt-woke up" was uncountable! I lost track of the time i woke up and sleep back!

Anywayz... lets juz leave out the crappy part of my life.... As i was sayin! WINTER! ^-^ I love the weather actually... makes my room feels so cool and calm... A very inviting paradise to look forward to after a full dosage of classes everyday... Unlike a few weeks back where I would be welcomed back with a gush of HOT warm air on the 4th floor's hell... Now..., stepping into my room is just like crossing through a tension-filter barrier that separates the divine realm from the reality... And hey... Ive picked up my artistic side of me yet again by drawing.... Came up with a one hell of a good masterpiece the other day (4am) when i was dipping my brain into a pool of physio notes on BLOOD, MUSCLE and NERVES.... (yeah, to me any one of my shittiest drawing is a MASTERPIECE since beauty lies in the eye of the beholder!Bluek~) What to do... sleppy mar... to avoid directing my body towards the inviting zone called bed... I had to keep myself awake.... -.-"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


:: dedication to u pig! =) ::


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



:: my study table viewed anteriorly::




:: my first attempt, ignore the card. concentrate on the drawing::



:: there goes my artistic nature ::

Interbatch hotties??!!! Kevin Su-Lin? BWAHAHHAHAH!

not like i played for the last 2 volleyball games... juz a subt but hey i did a marvellous job as supporter! natural loud speaker talent! For the first time i am so close yet so far.... However.. we won the first two rounds. First one against batch 16 and semi-finals against the defending champion eh! ^-^

Frankly i do not have much confidence in any sports. WAT do u expect.. for 18 years, i had been a stranger to the world of any kind of sports and now i wanna start from baby steps... Of course its pretty tough.. But im sure if i have the will... I will pull through it somehow... Thus, i must give myself some credits.. *pat pat my own head*

One thing i respect about my batch mates are... they are supportive and they can be calm... It so happened dat throughout the games... they treated it like a normal game and try not to feel the tension rising.... Whilst at another two courts... Basketball men and volleball men.. were pretty heated up! DAMN! they were good. Anson as usual managed to serve his purpose in the court.. One as one of the best player and two... pencuci mata for most of the bimbos.. LOLZ. The idol for gurls from different angles and border of the court... my gosh... even batch 16 gurls are all over him.....!!! (no doubt he showed off quite a lil' and i dont deny that he did look WOW~) but hey... it compensates for the major time he spent looking like a freak and a nerd tryin hard to study... No outing.. no dinner.. no lunch and a no..no.. outta his room other den lecture hall and basketball game of course... (i think he will murder me if he reads dis) Dun giv a shit lar.. its my blogpage and i can write watever i want! So basically, ansun the grass head. GOOD JOB!


:: our pseudo grass head superstar (left) and mua pseudo couz (right) under an umbrealla of such torture.. arent they adorable..? aww~::



and hey.. sports realy make a person healthier either mentally and physically... im feeling way better now... and making a good progress in my social life... getting to noe my batch mates better! =)

1.derivation of coach Liew from Rueben somehow become coach Riew, R for rueben! ... A guy ive known existed in taylors a-level wif the afro hair style..

2. SOTONG aka FOO KOK TONG was my PRIMARY SCHOOL MATE???!!! wat a small small small world... who wud have thought that i will meet someone from Sekolah Kebangsaan Jelutong Barat Pulau Pinang... NO WONDER he looked freaking familiar when i first saw him! *gasp in disbelif* he noes vee liam, dats how i got to noe about him being my school mate.. he noes mei hui's sis oso....

3. Liyana, nurul, che ah and bla bla bla... these malay gurls sure bring back hell a lot of my national service (PKN) reminiscense... somehow i alwayz think that malays are friendlier than any other races ive known...

4. Eng han! WAT DA FUCK! used to be in the same bio class and never spoken a word to him and everything changed when we got to noe him here.. Our emo friend no.2.... Poor guy... got drowned in the shittiest pool of love ... and hes not as bubbly as last few weeks anymore....

In short! LIFE SEEMS GREAT NOW!
p/s: KEVIN is god damn cute! eye candy! eye candY! lolz! reminds me of sue yee so much... *winks* followed up by electrotnic spread of grinsss......

Only Love,
SueLynN tan (11.44am) room 417 sharada

any chance of glorious moment in a defeated, abandoned piece of land...?

bloggie... u noe...,
everything seems so dull and dark and cold today...... despite the rays of the shining sun..... and the heated, upcoming male basketball game of my batch....against batch 16.... (who would have thought..?) i have been transformed into a world of black and white again....

dis is juz not one of my day... Su-Lin? the ever bubbly chirpy soul who never failed to......... everything is juz incomplete..... shes missing.... somebody call the cops! ive lose it yet once again....

am not being myself... am not myself.... am acting weird... am a whinner... sud just work as a full time whinner for the past two days... i could have done better earning some credit for being someone with not-recognized ability....

how i wish dat today tears can help soothen me...
how i wish dat a hug can make a difference...

coz.. nothing seem convincing now... i wana cry and get over with things .. yet resorting to crying juz not gonna solve anything.... im heading nowhere again... im sick of being such a pretender! its eating me alive again.. is dis a sign? is it?

the question shall be left unanswered........ *sharp inhale* ...............sigh.........................
a...g....a....i...n..............

Life heart...

LIFE............

Life always has its way of spinning around... in result of it... we in turn, lost our sense of direction... Sometimes we are obstructed from the view as of to where we are heading....

Do u ever wonder.. which direction we usually travel? let me see.... Not right not the left.... not straight not reversed... but.....

One moment... u are heading towards cloud nine and another flicked seconds... u zoomed all the way down hell.....

But then again...no matter what..., confrontation has to be made..... life has to go on.... Whether or not u are ready to move on... This is because time and tide waits for no men....

As for me..., ive got alot to say about my life... nothing in particular... not that it is a fairy tale nor it can be used as a role model.... But it has taught me ways of dealing with myself and the rest of the world.... It is the imperfections in life that makes life prefect...

nothing in particular

long heave.......

after two months of rapid liefstyle. eg: eat fast. walk fast. talk fast. and study fast.... plus insufficient sleep.... MMMC is offering us a 4 days holidays!!!!! YIPEEEE~~~

U noe wat????
I have not been sleeping well and properly and peacefully ever since the very first day i landed here! why???!! coz i have been haunted with weird dreams everytime i fall asleep. freaking everytime. one day it wuz leroy, den andru or jiun kit, yesterday it wuz mark. and one of those days my grandma and grandpa! wat dda heck! and i shall not go into the details....... they were all damn silly!

ok, im distracted wit all the chattings. i shall blog some other time. nothing inspirational is coming to my brain! thhffffff~

Splitting My Scalp and Thrashing my self-esteem....

and so.... my story shall take another turn from the last time I abandoned this page...

Before I start, here is a set of questionaire to ponder on:

1.Who said studying abroad is once in a lifetime experience?
2.Who said living independently means proving ur maturity to yourself and ur family members?!
3.Who said having bunch of friends u are familiar with in an unfamiliar land will do u good?!!
4.WHICH sucker came up with the idea that STUDYING MEDICINE especially in a cow-dung land (as wifey put it) COOL??????!!!!

If u can answer all that, good and fine. Be happy with it. Because I havent been able to satisfy myself with any answers so far. Why?

Answer 1: Cause studying abraod in India isnt at all LIFE! It is more of a resemblent of afterlife.
Answer 2: Cause Living alone means u gotta keep up with the minute laundry, cleaning, food and all the household (ooppss.. roomhold expenses!)
Answer 3: Cause u are surrounded with a whole bunch of form 6 geeks who breathe down ur neck every interval of happiness u've got and polluting the cloud nine sensation into horror! Pressuring you not only with their action but with the air they exhale! GIMME a break man twitchy! U can handle 13 hrs of continuos studying but not me! should i be thanking God for that?
Answer: And that sucker used to be none other den ME! Myself and I!

Any-shitty-way~ I juz discovered that my head is pratically tough, just as recent as 2 am in the morning. I freaking knocked myself on the head directly on the "side-parting" of my hair into the egde of my room's cabinet which is blardy situated above my study desK! I can still remember the ache that came gushing to the part of my scalp within seconds! AAAAaaaaaUUUUuuuuuu!!!!! It was pain of agony im toking about!!! At first i thought, the worst that could have resulted from the carelessness of my action is a huge, fat bump. Never did i expect to see blood stain exactly 3cm obliquely plastered on my scalp. Thhff~ Freaked out completely when blood was still oozing out after 30 minutes after the collision!

Another thing i would wanna mention to u my dear bloggie is.... Im feeling it again. The interbatch tournament has started. Yesteday was the basketball women league... and well... urrmm.... *sigh* Im feeling the familiar resentment upon myself...... I alwayz do it! I noe i am going to feel it and yet i allow it to happen. I alwayz question myself why arent i carved out to be involved more in sports..... Im such a vege. Wat for i have a height of a god damned coconut tree when im almost useless...? I feel intimidated and incompetent. Worse still, now it even involves studies. I wish i could go out there and play and enjoy myself. I wish i was active in sports last time in school. i may look like ive got wat it takes to be a sportsman, but... i noe... im a failure..... WTF! WTF! WTF is wrong with me!

Only Love,
Su-Lin, Tan (2.33pm India)

aftermath of anat test!

ARGHHH~

medicine freaks me like i've juz seen a distorted monster!
i have been mugging Chaurasia Anatomy for the whole week! Test today wasnt horrid. yeah, of coz it was not horrid coz Im more horrible looking!

in juz a day of physiology practical lab, i had to prick myself for more den 5 times on my left anterodistal middle fnger. Biatch! enuf lar one time! prick and prick and prick, no blood want to flow out! squeeze oso so stubborn! all it did was clogged there and den, after a tiny drop managed to come out. URGGHHHHHH!

Stupid lecturer sumore can tell us dat its alright, we've got dunno how many litres of blood in our body! but wat the heck? not like i can simply simply prick myself! takan he doesnt know that every month i have a visit from menses! I lose enough blood then lar!

watever lar.... interbatch basketball match is coming! HUNKS HUNKS HUNKS! *beaming* Mark and Anson is playing man! cousin against each other! bah!

Wifey is still in hosp! cant even make her laugh. if i ever tried... she will start tearing in agony... poor wifey... another pig-headed! didn bother doing ultrasound scanning in malaysia, wanna taste hempedu here in india. newayz, i got shifted leidi to a new room! damn new! damn spacious! damn nicer! damn everythin positive compared to my room back in malaysia! And of course, damner better den the current room im inhabiting.

and so... im a she-hulk here in india. ppl find it very amusing to give me nicknames thinking i will love it and be fond with it! DOINKS! not enuf wif insulin and pinky... now im a she-hulk... of all things... though i remember having a blue-hulk as my nick before when i wuz in f5.
And if u are reading dis! u noe who u are! Mushie the mushroommmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHHAH! im still gonna pester you on how the heck u hear me snoring all the way from New AC and heard me snored out my blog address.

crazy ?

Blurr.. Blurr.. Blurr...

Doubts.. Doubts.. Doubts...

"Do u have any doubts?" OOooo OOoo?

yeah, I have teacher. can u please repeat starting from the inhibition of Su-Lin's feelings?

and teacher teacher.. I love the way u pronouns stratified epithelium. Lattisimus dorsii and erythroblastosis foetalis sir! cud u please repat it another 7x5 times?

ice cream is damn cheap here. Butterscotch! yum yum! mam mam! growing fat! *flashes both thumbs up* YIpeee!

fly away! try pronouncing Gundam in malay! dats the way i pronounce it! lets go buy G-U-N (goon)

Hu...hu...hu...hu...hu...

I miss my family... I am not even sure whether those are tears of joy (becoz I am missing them at last) or echo of melancholiness...

WTH! LOLZ... I started missing them after one month?!? Liz told me I took a freaking one month to realize. WARK~ Well, I made a phone call back to a place I call home one month ago before getting and staying in a so-called temporary hostel room, which by some random chance is rundown whereby the waiting seem so~ E-T-E-R-N-I-T-Y...(I still cant get over it!!) :::::SIGH:::: Anywayz, it was nice talking to mummy and ah min! Heheheh! Bro is facing PMR at the moment. And Im such a lousy sista for not knowing the date he started writing his paper. This poor stranded sister in a faraway land was only informed after he sat for his first paper. *sob sob sob*

If I were back in Malaysia, I would be buying good luck card to sibuk-menyibuk. Apart from that, being a great helpful big tai kar ceh (yeah right, my arse), I will also mengambil bahagian in burning the midnight oil together with him! (YEAH! Finish the oil faster so that both of us can sleep earlier) LAME! Yet I love to make such remark ar!

Hiya... I miss mummy... I miss Min didi... I miss Him too... Damn it!

Only Love,
Sulin Tan (10.15 pm in India)

Ice blended Massala, Gobi, Aloo, Praatha??!!

Elo!

Yello!

Yaii~

Kawaii~

I was, I am and I alwayz will be one.

And so, whazzup wif india? Yesterday nite after dinner around 10 india time, me and wifey were stalked by one faggot indian! damn! It was pretty scary... Indian fella with white shirt (wait a min, it wuznt even white! Yellowishly grimy piece of filthy clothe!

Regret not having to listen to lepigroy's advice to carry with me a pepper spray wherever I go. Instead I told him my classic approach by getting those indian spices ie: massala as a self defence tool! It works too. ~i think~ Juz buy a packet and pour some in pepper container, bring along and sprinkle (WTH SPRINKLE????) at faggots if they come near me!

But, I figured out that wouldnt be too secured since India's air is too humid-fied and the moisture level is above ordinary. Thus, those spices might be damped by the time I find it useful... Thff~

Next on my blogging list, I AM 57.8kG!!!!! Im growing more and more humongous!!! Despite the fact that I still retain cuteness and hotness and the slenderness. So, what I am going to do is- COMFORT MYSELF by saying I HAVE HEAVY BONES. Who noes, i might have extra kg-s of nerves or structure exesscively somewhere.

Only Love,
Su-Lin, Tan (day dreaming in dreamland... @ 11.25 Indian time)

Let the Torture Begin. In the land of medicine....

I WANT to SCREAMMMMMMmmmmmmm~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrgGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

The only silent tormenting expression Su-Lin alias Dr.SHitty Tan can manage at freaking 3.15 in the morning due to the ascending tension....

*long monotonous sigh* continued by another tiring yawn.....

Why did I ever wanna get involved with medicine? Why did I even think of becoming a doctor? Why did I ever sign a lifetime contract on serving the human thus having to deal with lives?? WHY OH WHY?

Now my life evolves within the dilapilated 4 walls of the suckiest room ever. While my soul and brain revolves and fuses and anastamoses around ANATOMY, BIOCHEM and PHYSIOLOGY... Everyday, its basically the same old boring routine (eventhough I am YET to be sick and tired about the repetitative itenary each day....)

7am: wake up ->
8am: dissection(apply for monday to wednesday and friday) -->
10.00: breaktime(dat oso a kedekut punya half and hour. and by the time we are happily released from the hall, its already 10.10) thfff~ -->
10.30: B-o-r-i-n-g Lecture. YAWN #1. Yawn #2. Yawn #3.... 3/4 of the class will be dozing off including me. Half of the time, I will be brawling with my eyelids (figuratively of coz) trying to keep them open at least 0.000000005 cm! 15 minutes, I will be chewing on dashing minty flavoured gums by wringley buatan India while awaiting the effect of alertness to go tick off together with the passing seconds...
12.30: LUNCH! LUNCH! LUNCH! damn bersemangat especially to be the champion in getting outta the lecture hall and reach the famous food shop-The joints!
2.00: Back to class... Again the sleepiness will eventually overpower the so-called-resolute CONCENTRATION boosted during break. DAMN it.
*class.lectures."A" sounds like YAY, "L" sounds like YELL. EVERY WORD is difficult to make out though Im gifted and I was trained to speak and sound like an Indian. Their slang is too CUN-ted!
5.00: Yipee~ Lectures done for the day yet I cant call it a day off. Head to the onli India version of Coffee Bean/Starbucks - COFEE DAY and spend two hrs listening to murderous gempak Hindi song or repetition of Britney's Toxic and BSB Incomplete.

::STUDY and House Keeping all the way till dinner and after dinner THEN SLEEP::

THIS IS PATHETIC!!!!!!!! INDIA HAS GOT NO CHILLI SAUCE AND SOY SAUCE!!!! AND THEIR EGG SHELL IS WHITE IN COLOUR (kononye produced by ayam kampung)!!! NO FREAKING HOT WATER EVENTHOUGH HEATER is available! AND INDIANS ARE NOT ONLI OILY AND SMELLY (THERE, i am racist for once, so! WAT??!!!), THEY ARE SEXIST SIOT!!!!!!!

COnclusion: i still love India... (base on Negaraku tune)

"India aku...
Tanah Tumpahnya MUNTAHKU,
Saya hidup,
Berderai dan beku,
Rahmat malang,
Hantu kurniakan
Raja India,
Selamat disemadikan~"

Copyright Reserved: Dr.Shitty Tan. (4.00am india time, Shereen's room)

-WAT da heck am i doin at dis hour??? I have a test tomoro!!!!!

UpDATES! UPDATES! POTONG MAYAT!

ARGHHH!!!! I think this is the onli way to channel tension! Its building up! I can feel it coming! Shiat! Its 4.30 indian time here and I was just freaking released from classes! Of all classes! Histology lecturer is the champion to kill his student! I never knew there is such slow-demonstrator in the entire universe!

Common man! Its only the first day! It started of pretty well since we got our first proper look at "Kedava" aka Mr.Joe our dead body! It wuz Fun-tastic! Incision of the pectoral region, differentiating arteriol, veins and nerves, gulping down the sight of intestines overflowing outa the dissected body, and whoa.. our Mr. Joe owns huge groin! It looks damn hangus to me *giggles* We all had to handle all that at 8 in the morning. I secretly thanked Tuhan or Hantu that the dissection didn't corupt my nostril with overpowering formalin or any decayed odour~ YUCKS!

Anywayz, the extreme isn't about today's lecture or practical. I went Malpey beach for my first clubbing in India. (am I a medic student or wat?!) It wuz really cool! From the name itself, its obvious that the club is situated in the vicinity of beach. True enough, breathtaking sea view is just opposite the club! Took a 20 minutes ride in a white new Bettle-lookalike vechicle and of course it comes with AC, defined as Air CooL! Thff~ From the minute the dance floor started heating up, I danced till the end. Omitting the fact that those stoopid, donkey DJs played mostly techno and trance genres! DAMN IT! But it was fun though! =) DkNY, our tai lou for the new-formed Sushi Boys geng impressed me too much for his skill in shuffling! I was wayyy astounded! No doubt I have zero knowledge on the types of shuffling but I am pretty sure he is a damn great shuffler. *whisper.. prolly that's melbourne shuffle who noes?* AWwwww~ damn yau yeng punya tai lou! LOLZ!

So, clubbing in Malpey Beach lasted the whole night-from 9.45pm till 4am. All of them were stonning! Whereas me, I was exhausted and urmm... one of the sushi guy told me I walked like I wuz being raped by 10 guys after the massive dedicated dancing! Damn him! According to his sense of humour (which wasn't humorous at all), I would have been a very successful Sumo imitator if I were to walk like I had been raped by 100 ppl! The 16 of us reached our campus at around 6.30 (in India, it is day light, yet nobody dared to enter the hostel coz 3 of us kantoi. Navin "konged" and slept in the bus station! (man, I wish I can post the pic here!)

In the end, we-girls had to crept into our dorm while the guys ran like dogs up the stairs! Damn nice experience lar! I went back to shereen's room, bathed and changed into my nightie! Walked out into the campus street and every-friggin-body especially the ones in sari and dothis were staring at me! HEHEHEH~ i must have stunned them beyond words! Well..., I cudn't care less since I was too sleepy to be true~

And I was happy too! *beaming* Coz sumone gave me the assurance I have been waiting for months... Thanks a lot... Pig. Everything is destined... Though I alwayz believe fate is within the grasp of my palm..., Im sorry I cannot make any amendment to this particular fate...

Only Love,
Su-Lin, Tan...
(5.17pm Indian time- MAHE Library)

Touchdown In Yinindia~ (head shooking and protruding act)

INDIA! INDIA! The land of Ghandhi?

A week here and I havent face any weird difficulties. Am only annoyed with my room... Hostel with the name Sharadha.... I am amongst the lucky 5 to be alloted there. Staying there proves to be a little challenging coz, all I ever did in the room is being a Roaches-buster (I blardy killed two roaches so far, more number is expected to arrive in the near future). *long sigh....

Apart from that, me and my wifey make frequent visits to our "highly-respected", "passionate", patience chief warden who wrap a 10-inches high turban with beard too thick and long that one day u mite juz find bugs and roaches scurrying out of his beard!!! given the name of SOHAL. (sounds pretty obscene eh? try pronouncing it in cantonese and well... the rest are left said.) Think hes gonna get fed-up wif us gurls soon... But, sulin will never give up easily coz bugging his life means the chances for sulin to get out of sharada is brought up one notch higher in every visit. HURRAY! Im damn looking forward to packing and emptying the room into a better hostel. (STRESSING THE MILLIONTH time-AS LONG AS IM OUTTA SHARADA!)

Eh... I havent miss home a bit since i landed here on Saturday. On the contrary, im missing sugita... *sigh* I dreamt about her being murdered and MAN! I WUZ UPSET! though it wuz a freaking nightmare. The second day upon my arival, i dreamt about boxing sugina and about kailash not coming to manipal... Now i am wondering why da heck is my dream evolving around the Kunalans eventhough there is still Surina to complete the whole set. LOLZ~

Basically, India or to be more precise MAN-Nipple isnt that bad afterall. Food are tasty, comes in huge portion (yet i manage to finish every meal squeaky clean), non-pricey for the amount we get here, culture is indeed very diferent! LOVE THE oto(mini-taxi with 3 wheels! and everywhere on the road, vechicles honking at each other substituting indicators) Its irritating when they honk at you but its fun listening to the noise pollution. AM juz hoping that i dont pick up the habit of doing so when I fly back to malaysia. *giggles* And of course there are cows dung everywhere! DKny (real name: LIng DAo YAO which we juz found out one hr before dis) aka one of the sushi guys is a damn poser. Takes picture every corner he goes to...from seeing a cow dung to the coca-cola lorry and the local indian police officer. *gag*

Anywayz, here are a few completely funny terms used in INDIA, I was enlighted:
1) Photosating = Xerox
2) Sew = Stitch

Im pretty excited with almost everything here. Going everywhere including breakfast, lunch and dinner with bunch of sushi guys (yet to get bored of dem) and having one cutie to "cuci mata" LOLZ. EHEM~ Travelling everywhere we want in the oto. We went to the nearest town is called UDUPI (one of our lecturer's name sounds like it-suposedly Ulas Khatam but i changed it to udupi)

MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHH~~~~~ i think i have describe more den enuf of india. Next time bloggie, i shall narate! SEE YA! *sob sob* i dont have a proper internet conection here.....

p/s: flying across the ocean and continent was fun! My first time on the plane, My first time experiencing air turbulence, My first time getting outta malaysia (yeah... ive never even been to sigapore man, sad case rite!!!!), first time TRAVELLING Alone!

Motto for the day: "INdia.....ku.. Tanah Tumpahnya MUNTAH ku.."

Only LOve,
Soon-to-be Dr.Sexy Tan (1.07pm india time)

Na Una Kadelikere, Pandi.... (lolz... hopefuly i got the speliing rite)

unposted~ Planet Hollywood

Imagine a younger version of Shah Rukh Khan, SRK. Watching the original SRK on tv screen itself can bring me to cloud nine, wat more is there t ask for when u are looking at the exact photocopy of him? Looking even more energetic and wrinkleless, with that, merge the image wif hottie rob thomas's sexy ass and body. Tattoed on his arm and chest were the symbol of punk!.. Long haired... Voice damn powerful! (make me melt and evaporate lar....damn it) AND the best part was-he owns a KILLER SMILE! He got the style man! Introducing the lead singer of Planet Hollywood's live band!

Only one con so far- hes thin lar. I dun really fancy thin dudes coz they look scrawny and their bones look as if they are gona snap into two, maybe even rapuh habis when u accidentally knock them. Just like how shereen puts it - shrunken apple. But that, she honoured the title to Orlando Bloom which I find it completely ABSURD! How can Orlando Bloom (wifey self-proclaimed boyfren. KEEP SKIN LAR) be comapred to a shrunken apple. Hes not even infinte miles near there!



(unposted directly.)
Occasion: Farewell with Vanessa, Shit Hole and John
Venue: Planet Hollywood
Date: 7th Spetember 2005

Pre-ManNipple (Manipal) Syndrome "PMS"

*sayang my dear bloggie..*

poor thing, I have abandoned it quite long...

Am so packed this whole week... hardly can spend any time with family and even myself... Crap. When will i be able to go steam my another poor dried-up hair? Full appreciation to hair-dye.

But, am thankful i got to spend the whole day with mummy ^-^ It has been a long long long long long (make it another 100 repetitions of "LONG") time since the last mother-daughter outings. Mummy is so funny when she had to bear with my driving. I am a so-called extremist when I got geared up and behind the wheel. Acceleration is an unknown definition to me. And braking system barely comes into contact with my sole unless... the few times of emergency break. Kekekekeke~ And yeah.. lets get back to mummy!!! She made a loud remark every 10 minutes and even told me she tend to apply an invisible brake in the passenger seat. Sorry mummy. *grins* She even told me that all these would have gone to daddy's hearings if and only if shes in talking term with him. wth?? LOLZ...

My Prayers:

If i were a lil brat and useless daughter: dear gracious God... don't ever let them speak ever again to each other till i have my own family built and i dont need money from daddy anymore.

Current position as a daughter: I shall give up anything for them to exchange at least a word in a day............. at least I wana see my family in a piece so that i will rest in peace (RIP) in india. wtf man! But seriously... it is not easy to go through everyday seeing cold war at home for almost a year. (thank gooodness it doesnt affect me daily, only certain occasion like CNY and new years eve)

*blink blink.... droplet of tear maintain within the eye pouch...*

Alright... I am getting all emotional... Thats my family. Yeah.. Surprised huh? Am such a happy-go-lucky gal. Am all screwed up inside. Im proud that I managed to stand strong....

Next.... there goes all my dinner..... All fully reserved by ppl i aint really gonna give a damn in. REPHRASE: "Im going to be extremely busy and I dont even have time for ppl dear to my heart... "

Im angry also becoz i get nothing from her! I AM SOOO ANGRY! i am leaving and she isnt gonna at least do sumtin for me?????? WTH MAN? Wat more when i aint gonna see her for another 1000 centuries to come???? After alll those things i have done. Actually i am more disapointed den angry! Everyday... i waited for THE ultimate sms or msg and yet... i ended up promising others for outings. Tried to allocate one back-up plan in case- That is to take away my family dinner on thurs eve. THAT OSO has been taken by my dad's new business product's shareholder. DAMN! I DUNNO WAT TO DOOO!!!! Time is ticking away. I have a feeling i wouldnt have any time for her. I soo feel like crying. Infact, i juz have COMPLETE utter zero time!!!! I feel damn useless!

Only Love....,
Princess of the Faraway Moon, Princess Serenity... (22.13)

p/s: that is why i havent started packing my bag. coz I feel sick to start it. I noe I will feel it even more. Guess i am avoiding reality....

That's the Way It is (Celine Dion)

I can read your mind

and I know your story

I see what you're going through

It's an uphill climb, and I'm feeling sorry

But I know it will come to you

Don't surrender
'cause you can win
In this thing called love

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

When you question me for a simple answer
I don't know what to say (no)
But it's plain to see, if you stick together
You're gonna find a way, yeah

So don't surrender 'cause you can win
In this thing called love

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

When life is empty with no tomorrow
And loneliness starts to call
Baby, don't worry, forget your sorrow
'Cause love's gonna conquer it all, all

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

That's the way it is
That's the way it is, babe
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it

And that's the way it is.

this song is definitely more semangat than...

"Tanggal seluar dalam kamu...

........bulan 8 beli yang baru"

(a remix of the orignal version of Tanggal 31 by the late Sudirman)

*noting down this song... Kinda significance coz it boosted my
esteem yesterday nite or was it today morning while editing poems....

D' Senget (with the cun hand movement) & Bawang Putih Biru!

Izit coincidence or wat? Life without one chee mui is definitely different---> boring......

Monday was Shuba sending off day. Klia brought back a memory tragic enough to doom me the rest of the day. And this another trip to Klia in three days also made me conjured enough future emo-ness for next friday.

"Can I handle the parting?"

"Will I cry like a forgotten running tap?"

"How will my family reaction be?"

"What do I do knowing I might not be seeing someone dear to my heart pretty soon?"

It is unavoidable, isn't it? Everywhere we go... throughout our life, we are destinied to meet, make friends and say goodbye. Keep the good ones and chuck the bad ones.

Eh... Merdeka day seems so rotund and mono... Like I give a damn. The so-called semangat kebangsaan seems so distant right now. B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. Maybe it was never instilled in my blood. First thing in the itenary: Basking and diving into a bastradize dessert franchaise called Baskin Robins 31. I am becoming one ice-cream freak. Coz i had a mudpie look-a-like in Chillis> chris belanja for my belated burfday treat! Got a roxy purse from hima nd jwin hon. Thank u guys.

The senget which i dunno why it is called senget when it is supposed to be The bengkok (the curve) was the next place we hang out after bangsar. This new bar with the name Bawang Biru (blue garlic) isnt that bad.

Am sleepy lar....... Gd nitez lar. Malas leidi.

Twice bitten, 20 times tak serik! Time awareness Vs. Sisterhood.....

and so...

chee mui's goodbye gifts linked from one disaster to another. From a 'tai chau' dinner that we supposedly should be having yesterday eve, we hopped onto dimsum at 11pm. From there, we resorted to mamak-ing at PJ. But the best part was, none of the arrangements worked!

*cheers*

Why? Firstly, I shall thank everybody's co-operation, secondly which sadly is DA BOMB- ariel's mum gotta chained him up for the night. So.., tata to farewell of any sorts. He was soo tuned out to all of us and eventually I got pissed. Thus, I slept pretty early. The day before, I was phreaking high. Hat downs to 6 glasses of JD- 2 downed and 1 cup full, neat. And I was still spinning when I woke up 6 hrs later. Love the tipsy feeling man. DAmn cun~ Still, i didnt get wasted. When else will i be able to do so??? Anywayz, I couldn't sleep for long due to two unsettled parking compound from MPSJ. I told wifey to drive unless I wanna reach hell way earlier than i expected. Then both of us went to asia cafe (where we saw kailash and he called us the sad case ppl) Around 5pm, both of us went to MV trying hard to cook sumtin up for ariel's solid farewell gift. Proven that we were jinxed coz our hunting was fruitless and unsuccesful......... Managed wif a card (and i belif we didnt get to give it to the receiver.. COZ WE BLARDY OVERSLEPT!!!! It wuz 8.15 am when mel woke me up... the card is lying there now...)

BRAVO! his flight was at 9.15am. Well, as pig-headed as we both are, we darted out of the house, into the car and off we go to KLIA eventhough I was aware of the chances of not gonna to make it...... All sorts of thing were just coming and going in my head, memories popping up every seconds like fresh mushroom after rain, GUILT GUILT GUILT, disapointment..... We were resolute if not desperate to reach the airport just to get a last glance of him and a hug from him... Urm...,The driving stunts on the raod should i leave to u guy's imagination....

8.45am- Half journey to KLIA pass Dengkil:

I made wifey call ariel..........................................................
~Ariel has boarded the plane~
(fallling in a pitch black loophole... Stomache churned...)
.....We didnt even say goodbye.....
I didnt get to speak to him at all... not even a word since Tuesday..............
Of course i didnt burst up i tears, one reason is becoz i dun have a bucket to collect dem.. LOLZ. No, i was pretty emotional and yes... i felt myself tearing, roads were a blurry sight... And since i cant make any U-turn, i sniffled and start pounding on the accelerator bringing back the meter back to 160kmph. Reached there at 9:03am... wats the point, his family were on the way home by then...

It was weird how all these happens on one such sunny fine day... We just walked aimlessly after abandoning my car (mind me, i juz parked outside the departure hall and not even the car park. WAt da heck?! Did I look like I cared den?????!!!) From one end of the hall (balai pelepasan dalam negeri aka domestic flights), we walked to the other end (international flights) We noticed that we get one quarter of the view of platforms at both ends. Headed out of the air cond and we just hurried along the coridor trying to capture a view of Cathay Pacific if im not mistaken or misheard wat fish told me few days before.

Within that few crucial minutes before his flights, we were completely oblivious to anything else other then planes. Everytime a plane hover pass me (may it be MAS or Air Asia), soaring majestically high up into the welcoming clouds, I felt a huge stab in my heart... We know, we disappointed him... and we disappointed oursleves.
*sigh...*

At least we made it there... For goodness sake, we didnt even know which plane he was on... but the contentment and satisfaction jab should be sufficient for the temporary remorse that is predicted to haunt me for the rest of the week. After we thought we convinced ourselves, with few planes we saw departed and one of them should be his, we-the two patethic chee mui strolled back, arms around each other recollecting while... tearing... Damn it lar...

Got on the car and there it was playin Ryan Cabrera's 40 kind of sadness... Wat more...? I teared even more.. coz i rembered teasing fish as Malysian Ryan. hehehehe....
Thanks god it wasnt the aerosmith's song.... Phewww~ In short, the whole thing felt horrible...

Despite all the nuinsance launched by he most 2 irresponsible human... I was telling wifey...Frankly, It was as if I can still feel his presence... It was as though he is still around (look who am i kidding?) It feels like we can still holler him for yum char tonite.... YEah. REality CHECK and reality BITES! Face it! Hes off for good. Till summer bring us back together.... Au revoir.

We miss you as much as ur jun jun aka bear bear do, if not more. And we love u too! Yeah man. So much so, we are the chee muis and we are the closest to you.. and yet this is wat we gave him in return...

Yours....
Chee mui (15.15)

dedication to cheemui...

(one of the yum char session)

Emotional alert.. Emotional alert...

It is not new, neither it is a big deal... It so happened that, this is somewhat normal and infact and extremely common gesture dalam lumrah hidup sulin.

Im getting upset due to Ariel's flight on Saturday. I so knew that I am going to miss him soo soo soo soo much. *sigh..* He is one blardy cun fella lar. My dearest friend and of course my lovely chee mui... Dunoo why, he seems damn selamba but here i am allowing the pang of predicted desertion and loneliness after his soon-to-be departure.

No doubt he is iritating at some points, he is just helluva gem of a guy. Caring; funny and he is another person who would laugh as loud as me if not louder; calm, laid back (although really scary when he got pissed and merajuk. the end of our life because every monotonous replies magnify the message of "LEAVE ME ALONE AND DON'T U DARE DISTURB ME ANY FURTHER; a lil too lazy (but that is amidst the point); good looking or so has mummy, shan and mei hui claimed; sensitive nature; another heart-to-heart talkmate, PHD in crapology (actually all the members of the Shakespearian Farm owns a degree in that); last but not least-fish is simply wonderful....

Yeah... probably you are way pass over the moon reading the above message now. Just for once lar. No more after this coz dis entry is dedicated to ur for everything u have done for ur hot, sexy and cutie lil sis. Companion for pool to, ehem... the pretence chatting conver *grins* (thou i never wuz sucessful), to the fabulous and popular Q&C. LOLZ! Go figure!

We all know things might not be the same after that. Infact, it is obvious -things arent going to be the same the next time we see each other. Whatever it is, my greatest gain and gift that we met and now we are a small lil family. Sisterhood aka The Chee Muis!!!! *sob sob*

Ariel...,
remember how it was only the 3 of us who came out and hang about for yumchar and mamak? and how we were joined later but later on we found ourself back to only the 3 of us? wuz cool aint it? Oklar... i think ive mumbled enough. Till now, i still fail to create a good entry for my 19th years celebration on the 19th! DAMN .



Only Love,
Su-Lin (3.00am)

End of 19th burfday on the 19th~

My wonderful fair-tale like 19th birthday has just been smashed by horrible, terrible and vegetable NIGHTMARE! I aint just fretting but I am COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT!

Well, yeah i lost my visa's receipt whereby I might have quite a dificulty collecting my India visa without the receipt. But this is not as 'keng' as dis sudden enlightement and recent discovery!!!!!!

OMGggg... i so wanna cry. I cant believe mummy ironed my flared crumpled skirt (supposedly the fashion) and leaving it look as smooth as silk.... I SOOOO WANNA CRY MY LUNGS OUT and throw tantrums!!!!! DAMN! my priceless possesion and how can she even thought of doing dat????????????? The exquisite touch is all the crumples and the folds.... NOW! its a pathetic teal looking cloth without any touch of liveliness. OMG!!!!!!! It looks so hideous that my great aunt wud disowned me if I wear it. I SWEAR!!!

I cannot belif mummy is shallow enuf to do so.... Mummy mummy... why lar why lar...? haiyo... I almost almost shouted at the sight of the veggie, helpless and hopeless piece of cloth... YES! i am angry! I am angry at myself not to remind and tell mummy wat to do!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I LOVE the SKIRT SOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!! second rank after my hair~ I REALLY feel like strangling my mum now! (yeah yeah.. so much so, a great daughter am i. wanting to choke mummy for a skirt! BUT STILLL!!!!!?????) There goes my lovely skirt. The first and the last time flowing alongside my legs during my burfday... *SIGH infinitely*

such huge regrets and disapointment!!!!!!

Over were those moments of happiness and bliss. Now i am filled wif fire and im buttered up wif layers of freaking anger!!!!!

I Love the way U MOVE

I LOVE MY HAIR!

I LOVE THE colour.

I LOVE the style.

I love the way it falls.

I love the way it frames my adorable face.

I LOVE the way it succesfully attracts attention.

I love the way...it gleams under the sun...

but most of all.. (moans) most of all...(moans) yeaaah~ yeeah~

CHORUS
I love the way IT moves. *dzeng dzeng dzeng dzeng*

Copyright: Sulin HairROckers. *SMUGNESS KAO KAO (cow? cow?) MOO~

Good hair day?

busy busy,
behaving like a bumblebee..

Enough of much comments, contradictory opinions and self questioning, I brought up enough courage to make a change to the hair colour I have been wearing for all my life. I dyed my hair-RED. Alrite, obviously not blazing red (who on earth would ever think about sulin in red? BAH!)

However, the predicted time was definitely way beyond the vocabulary of 'NEAR' because I blardy ended up stoning on the black jet black leather adjustable chair staring into the mirror.... Sadly at myself...(why arent there any cutie or hunks? yeah yeah. eyes rolling), the transformation procedure of my never messier hair... And to make things worse, I was actually pouring my concentration and feasting my sight with the reflection of the armpits of my hairdresser. *triple faint* My attempt on tracking down one single 'bulu ketiak' was unsuccesful though... LOLZ.

Good enough, 5 hours wasted on my hair was worth the while because I actually love the way it falls now. At least I am no longer another plain jane. Coz i look like one of the Weasley's family members now, only without the freckles. (potter's influence lar tu.. DAMN) So, after I go and shape my eyebrows tomorrow, I'll be all set and ready for sunway roadshow and my party!!!! hehehhe...

Only Love,
Spastikated wifey (3.05 am)

Fulamak~ Terrer Sial....

GOSH! I am god damn exhausted man! I feel like horse shyt combined with pig-sty mud and a lil' touch of sinking sand... I dunno what da heck I am saying but.... I so feel like blogging.... I miss bloggie eh! Add on to all those exotic combo... my face felt as if it has juz gotten out after dipping it in cooking oil for hours, creating a layer of plasticky transparent mask. Its shining and reflecting over-excess of lights. Prolly mel can she her own reflection if she tried hard enough to stare at me while standing and facing me!

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST REACHED HOME AFTER A LONGGGGG DAY AT WORK..... Been a crazy weekend... *triple sigh*

-23:20:55 received a damn unexpected call... *chockiNG, suffocate, purple face* ahahhaha~ rufio.... my gosh... after so long... -

Anywayz, shereen came back at last! HURRAY! she made it to KLIA in one piece at sharp 7.12am on saturday. Sulin Kaur Sran stayed in her villa for 4days 3nights. lolz. been learning how to bake bread pudding! eh damn easy peasy weasy whowzie! Well, I have promised Liz that I will bake one on my burfday for the SHakespearian farm!! *tarataratartarataratrartatratara*
current msn nick:chef sulin soon-to-be Dr. Sexy Tan!! bread pudding lesson! yum yum~

Sulin is such an idiot. Yesterday, Sulin drove all the way back from Templers park (for the reader info, about 20km away) to her house at one corner of the ulu to actually collect her roadshow uniform. But ended up going all the way back to Templers park forgetting the whole suite. Only to realise it 3/4 of the journey. Can u tel me how dumb can she be most of the time. So, today morning, sulin rushed back to her house again to change there coz she can seem to come into term wif shereen's mum's pants. As it is Sulin's unthreaded eyebrows make her look like a hairy overgrown chimpanzee... wearing dat pants of shereen's mum will definitely transform her to a god noes aunt chimpanzee! WTF!!!!!

As usual, I was late again. dengz. reached there at 9.40 am when I wuz suposedly to be there 9.30 on the spot. But hey! I speed from kepong to puchong in 40min amidst the slow moving traffic man! coming back, i onli took 25minutes!!!! CHEERZZZZZ~~~~ wuz too tired to bother about mata-mata gelap. those dogs are sucha a pain in the ass anywayz.... blah~

summary of the first day: I'd rather DIE! ARGHHH!!!! I CANT STAND TESCO!!!! Mommy mommy, can i sit instead? WTH man?! I better dun try to understand and term with myself d' ability of 6more days endurement and torture in TESCO! will my life span expire den...? im sooo freaking tired... how am i gonna go clubbin on thurs dude? HOW LAR macha? how ler machi???? yena porenge? *smugness!!!! see my tamil is not bad*

ANOTHER SHOCKING enlightenment! MY GOD DAMN PARTY OF THE CENTURY ON MY BURFDAY MAY NOT BE AS SMOOTH AS IT SOUNDS! COZ I DUNO HOW DID I GOD DAMN MISSinterprete THE DATE OF WORKIN! I HAVE BLARDYYY WOrK ON 18th till 21st! FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ and arigato to myself due to the baka-ness dat im undergoing... I feel so shity.... Now the plan to go for P.D Salem revoltion party also gone... to top it all off! i cant enjoy my birthday!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!! damn u lar sulin! damn u ! damn urself!!!!!!!!!!!!

Silly sulin,
23.51