elizabeth - went on a shopping spree says:
"how mess up can u be....u r su lin"
Trust me, i can be really screwed up sometimes... until the level in which it never strucked me that i was SCREWED! Today is a good example... A lesson to be learnt... An enlightenment i have earned... A joy to be celebrated... AND A LOVE I SHOULD SHIELD...
For the darkest, most appalling moment... I thought that I, Su-Lin... (the girl who is alwayz proud at the way her life caught her into tight situations, coping well in untangling up certain hard to sort predicament and managing what seems like an impossible now...) failed to lead the almost perfect life by making a huge mistake. A mistake i thought i can never traced back the origin and find the remedy for it. I had to be greatly disturbed with one simple question/statement. "Are u playing?" HUH?! That question struck me like a thunderbolt eh! No JOKE! Sigh.. refering to my nickname on msn a few weeks back : HIDE and SEEK, i think that is the game i am playin now....
I am hiding from reality and yet venture out seeking for an answer which is already in front of me... I know i have A LOT of things to learn... I have a long long list of goals clearly and ambigiously carved in my brain to be crossed out and express : YIPEE! Also rectify my many anonymous behaviour i am yet to discover! But getting something ive alwayz wanted (yes, it is hard to believe) and sorta devoting myself in it is like buying a sure gain 4D number! So, now! I AM CONVINCED that i was wrong for thinking so~~~ I have ponder really hard...
I think i was merely confused... Aint ready to step into a totally whole new world... Experiencing an entire new phase of my ever so complicated life (and no, i dun mean medicine course u doofus-donkey in shereen's language) Apart from that... succesfully letting go of something like a false, one sided hopr and affection for pig was not what i had in my schedule in the near future. There i was blindly and foolishly telling a lie to myself that things between me and him wasnt really wat it was supposed to be. giving myself the silliest excuse i conjured...Thuffff~ Guess, i will never know for a fact about how my past went wif him. Coz he sux in being someone who failed me too many times. AT LEAST TELL me LAR idiot! Of course i will move on and be happy for u! AT least i dun have to feel so stoopid now! (errrr... two weeks back) Thus, i take it as, u NEVER consider me as ur fren! HMMPPHH~
seriously... i have feared that this whole thing is a rebound... A way to channel my grief by falling into someone's outstretch arms... Great job mushie... U really proved me wrong... *winks* A story of tomatoes of mushnrooms... is yet to be completed... And i shall paint it too... Just you see...
P/s: saturday anual dinner was a magnificent night!
1) I wore sari for the first time WOOTTTT!!!
2) kevin su (still my eyecandy but onli eyecandy) LOLZ! came and asked me for a pic together! Man i was flattered!
3) Went clubbing in sari! never felt better on the dance floor! Not even in miniskirt and those lovely tops. ^-^
4) last but not the least, jeng jeng jeng! The beauty paegent princesses~ HEHE!
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