I was really excited to get back from library, wanting to flop down in front of my laptop and start blogging... but since ive been delayed it, neh.. the inspiration has subsided to a normal level...
->d' 3 elements: HOPE(sparks)... ANGER(fire)... REGRETS(ashes)....
->Philosohically: the birth.. the rise... and the fall of a Phoenix.... (a sexy one!)
Anyways...., 3 things that I wanted jot down:
1) before i start... *pat pat own's head* i was beaming a few minutes back! i have never been so proud with myself for a very long time for accomplishing the impossible... (i wasnt even this satisfied after singing on stage at KMC greens in front of hundreds of spectators for one of the biggest anual event in Manipal-LAGENDA... on the 17th of december! gosh! i was so freaked out when i first knew about how huge that whole function was gonna be! I presented on a stage facing towards a vast outlook of green and well trimmed field occupied with uncountable number of audience-students and locals around manipal.....Had alwayz been the audience... And whenever i watched ppl my age perform, the voice from the depth starts pestering me and annoyed me for not having the guts to do it! Not anymore! An achievement is an achievement! I overcome my stage fright at last and i sang! I PERFORM! A DREAM I never have thought would ever came true.... it was a great feeling.... really.... ) So today, another record breaking task ive managed is officially calling myself a Medical student aka NERD! I sat for 5! FIVE! LIMA! Wu! GOR! ANJE! continuos hours studying! For once! Hurray! Hurray! hurray hu holiday! AHAHHAHAHAHA! And i am talking about sitting and not even budging to go out for dinner and not even TOILET! funny thing... nature didnt make it's call... lolz! ANYWAYZ, im really overjoyed! PROUD and contended are the more precise vocab to describe my feeling right now!
::ahaha.. who would have guessed...?::
2) Coming to point (dont prepare to yawn coz dis is definitely the total opposite tone compared to the above...) "What goes up will come down..." Ever heard of karma...? I bet u noe! and no, im not talkin about kama sutra u silly! yeah! AND SO! MY FREAKING INTERNET.BROADBAND BILL FOR A MONTH is.......... JENG JENG JENG!!!!! RM 480!!!!!! WAT DA FUCKING FUCK MAN???? Wifey's bill is RM1000!!!!! We almost got cardiac arrest, circulatory shock, concussion all in ONE staring at those faded numbers printed on the pathetic white sheet of invoice stamped BSNL.... Worse still... the ink used was lousy..., greyish.. and YET THE IMPACT WAS WAY BEYOND EXPRESSIONS!! DAMN INDIA! FUCK INDIA! (no, im not gonna fuck it, someone else has too.... im sorry.. thousand and one apology for my ever so-called wonderful and "polite" readers! i noe im usin a lot a lot of indecent word and im reffering to Harryz wif the 'Z' at the back! but it is MY BLOG, so it is MY WISH.... ) Oh lord! i expected indians to be a failure in business after watching Russel Peter! ANd no dude! INDIANS aka tempe aka RI-short form for resident indian here prove me sooo wrong! Coz they outsmart us wif their fake guts! Hokkien we say: Kelenga teeih! DAMN IT! EVEN INDIA's ants have to cari pasal with me! for the past few days, i have been stomping and smacking every ants in sight! NO JOKE! TiCKED me off to the max!
3) Is new year going to be promising...? or will fate brings me to a destination i have not expected....? will i live in regrets...? and swallow the perplexed emotions im dealing with right now.... I behave like a two different person at daylight and in nightlife.... Am i a morning person or am i a noctural? But no... this is harder than i thought... Its so messed up! IT IS! IT IS! IT IS! The only thing that keep me moving and distracting me is studies for the will to want to score well is really overwhelming! of coz any normal person would felt this way... especially me... The reputation as a bright student is filthty now! Im disgusted and im ashamed at my own performance... Call me a kiasu! Call me a perfectionist! YES I AM! I did so well for CPU and medicine juz make me feel timid.... Firstly because im sitting wif a helluva smart arse named jiun kit! ARGH! but hes nice, been helping me alot... sigh.... secondly, i almost failed my two class tests! Anywaz... i think i have deviated alot from my suposedly emo...paragraph.... What should i do...? What do i do...? The end of 2005 does not hold an answer for me.... I guess.... journey in search of my missing soul has to commence right away....
-ADIOS 2005-
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