Who is that Hot Stuff?

a spit of comments.
a groan of aches.
a moment to confuse.
a reason to fight.
a tear to trickle.
an antidote to laugh.
a lameness to feed on.

Its all in here!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Splitting My Scalp and Thrashing my self-esteem....

and so.... my story shall take another turn from the last time I abandoned this page...

Before I start, here is a set of questionaire to ponder on:

1.Who said studying abroad is once in a lifetime experience?
2.Who said living independently means proving ur maturity to yourself and ur family members?!
3.Who said having bunch of friends u are familiar with in an unfamiliar land will do u good?!!
4.WHICH sucker came up with the idea that STUDYING MEDICINE especially in a cow-dung land (as wifey put it) COOL??????!!!!

If u can answer all that, good and fine. Be happy with it. Because I havent been able to satisfy myself with any answers so far. Why?

Answer 1: Cause studying abraod in India isnt at all LIFE! It is more of a resemblent of afterlife.
Answer 2: Cause Living alone means u gotta keep up with the minute laundry, cleaning, food and all the household (ooppss.. roomhold expenses!)
Answer 3: Cause u are surrounded with a whole bunch of form 6 geeks who breathe down ur neck every interval of happiness u've got and polluting the cloud nine sensation into horror! Pressuring you not only with their action but with the air they exhale! GIMME a break man twitchy! U can handle 13 hrs of continuos studying but not me! should i be thanking God for that?
Answer: And that sucker used to be none other den ME! Myself and I!

Any-shitty-way~ I juz discovered that my head is pratically tough, just as recent as 2 am in the morning. I freaking knocked myself on the head directly on the "side-parting" of my hair into the egde of my room's cabinet which is blardy situated above my study desK! I can still remember the ache that came gushing to the part of my scalp within seconds! AAAAaaaaaUUUUuuuuuu!!!!! It was pain of agony im toking about!!! At first i thought, the worst that could have resulted from the carelessness of my action is a huge, fat bump. Never did i expect to see blood stain exactly 3cm obliquely plastered on my scalp. Thhff~ Freaked out completely when blood was still oozing out after 30 minutes after the collision!

Another thing i would wanna mention to u my dear bloggie is.... Im feeling it again. The interbatch tournament has started. Yesteday was the basketball women league... and well... urrmm.... *sigh* Im feeling the familiar resentment upon myself...... I alwayz do it! I noe i am going to feel it and yet i allow it to happen. I alwayz question myself why arent i carved out to be involved more in sports..... Im such a vege. Wat for i have a height of a god damned coconut tree when im almost useless...? I feel intimidated and incompetent. Worse still, now it even involves studies. I wish i could go out there and play and enjoy myself. I wish i was active in sports last time in school. i may look like ive got wat it takes to be a sportsman, but... i noe... im a failure..... WTF! WTF! WTF is wrong with me!

Only Love,
Su-Lin, Tan (2.33pm India)

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