Grand Saga... how will it ends?

Guess wat! Im emo NOW! sumtin new? nehhh~
Its good in a way, i havent been posting much emo blogs recently.....
Probably I did not manage to obtain much inspirational mood....
Right now... I am full of it. It is overflowing... yet it is dilapilating...

Juz read pork's blog... seems like one of the ordinary life mess earthlings face everyday... but beneath those words, lies a very significant incident...or maybe some incidents which are pointers to our future and eventually became turning points in our life path... of course we do have diverted routes or there wouldnt be ups and downs. Life will then not be a roller coaster experience anymore....

Secondly... why do good and bad has to come hand in hand? Yin and Yang...? Balancing? Scales? Black and White?

Often.. ppl claim dat life is like a storybook. But bear in mind... and empty and completely blank pages without any prints book. Yet to be written, coloured, decorated, shaded.. torn.. folded..scribbled and signed... Physical appearance act as cover, of course it does comes with thick and thin (urmm.. muka tebal dan nipis lar tu..lolz) And author... of cousre not u! It is everyone u meet in life that is going to help you finish the book. When we were delivered down to breathe in the first ever gulp of air on our own... that was when our story started..

Do you know that life isnt made up of one long whiny complicated story? To me, the huge book consists of many many many short stories. In malay it is called cerpen (whereby the word cerpen is actually shorten from 'cerita pendek' I didnt know dis till my bm teacher told me in f4) Different characters, settings, time and mood... were cultivated...in each short story. And remember the triangle theory that wuz forced down our throat in literature and sastera. (cant remmeber what is it called actually.. gheez...) All i can remember is the climax! coz that is the most interesting part in the entire hill or mountain! Oh yeah! dat is exactly the turning point i wuz talking about.

Incidentally... (hey, im ingenious but incompetant.. dunno why i wanna mention dis.. prolly the "in" prefix sounds nice to me!) i have noticed sumthing lately... not discovered but realised...

I have been reading this chapter of story in my life book... One of the greatest story... a story i will never forget in another 20 years to come... who knows.. i might bring this story along till the day i die... Buried along with the anxiety, expectation and thoughts of never-came true finale...

"...i went through. Unusually, the normal sunny morning was engulfed with chilly air. Cloudy puffs were loaded with sack of waters. Any moment, a needle prick would make the sack burst and sending down gushes of heavy downpour.. There i was rushing up the stairs, taking two at a time... Panting and breathing rapidly.. Heart pumping and blood gushing through my veins.. Yet I didnt stop to catch my breath or calm my nerves down... All that matter then wuz to get to class on time. An extremely important checkpoint for the day... Only a few ticks before the arm of my watch struck 8.

few more steps. Juz channel more enerny to ur thigh and muscle of ur legs!
I MADE IT! pheww... silently thanking the invisible fella that i made it." That was the first dat i met him...

I have seen him countless times but i can never recall any special moments... Noticeable but not enough to switch on the thing.. giggles... i actually thought he was slightly flamboyant. Another Jay chow fashion target. damn! The hairstyle especially! and in disgust, my sight was locked at the way he placed dis pace. WEIRDO! Days moved on... On.. and on.. and on..

Till one day. Fate brought us together... I got to know him so much later. When everyting was almost coming towards an end. The more we excahnged words.. the more the familiar scent arouse within me... I tried pushing it away but.. Alas, it was too overpowering.. *sigh.. i finally gave up. He won! I was defeated..."

I have gone through the climbing process... I succesfully reached the top of the mountain. Now... everything seems to move backward but the opposite direction.. the climbing is now being replaced by the downhill adventure.. Juz like a reflection.. Steep up (hard and challenging) and steep down (u juz trip once and off u slide forever and ever.. gaining speed and momentum as u go... till the last terminal...and den i claim all the impact... seems funny eh? but that is exactly the short story.. It is coming towards an end. Either it wuz me or him who is tryin to expand the ending.. determining the conclusion... No one knows... whether it is going to end up happy or sad. I pray for a happy one, for once i can let it go without hard feelings. I am waiting for either one of us to DOT the ultimate FULL STOP on the last word.

"... it wuz alomst noon. Mumbling and pro-ing and con-ning myself... Martha let the time slips by her hands... I thought i couldnt care less...? I know I am leaving and yes... i am leaving.., it is not my fren or family im heavy hearted about leaving... it is u i cant seem to let go... Dont u noe, dont u noe how much i wish to tell u dat! The words are almost screaming in my lungs! Pounding on my heart to be freed! I feel so constricted! BOunded by the conscience and the realistic brain lobe of mine. Coz i noe, dis is the last time we are gonna meet. The final moment seeing u in that adorable expression.. Always looking calm and laid back. Though i have a feeling u might be feeling worse den i do underneath that mask!

I am not asking for much.. juz the satisfaction of knowing the truth.. Truth that can be risky and ugly but also stand a chance to quench the desire of fulfilling the emptiness. Of course i know it is impossible. Sure u know that well enough too. We both knows... We do.. Alright, i admit... Im afraid, it was juz a wrong hunch afterall.. all this while. I was being mad enough to even get all those ideas. Martha subconsiously let off a pint of crystal from her eyebags... The darker shade below the lively eyes tell me she has not been sleeping properly for the past few days..."

BUGGER! DARKNESS! Su-Lin is tired ler...

Only Love...
Nai nai (11.45pm)