Nico Robin sings

latest song in my Japanese music library.
By Yamaguchi Yuriko
Title : My Real Life



soothing song to accompany midnight oil burning...
ENJOY!~

Candy Story #2

me: why are you puckering up your face? ( while smooching him)

he says: (open eyes and unpursed lips)
to get the maximum sensation from one of the senses, you got to block the rest.

me: uh-huh~ (killer stare)

he says: it is true wert?
when u wanna eavesdrop, you close your eyes and concentrate.
when you wanna detect a waft of an unknown aroma in the air, you don't open your mouth wert? ( matter-of-fact look. *eye brows jumping*)

me: (higher magnitude of killer stare and head-smack *kerrrrpowww*) =P


in another occasion...

me: S-T-U-D-Yla! tommorow test!

he says: i am wert... (while fiddling my right ear)

me: and what are you doing? (pointing at his fingers)
thought you said you gotta block the rest of the senses when you wanna concentrate in one?

he says: (show tongue)
see, in this case, it is different. When you are dealing with brains neurons, the more combo of senses employed, the better you remember! That is why reading aloud when you are studying helps you remember better.
So in this case, i can (continue disturb-disturb-disturb ear)

me: ... (speechless)

p/s: things to do when study has reached its limit - BLOG! WTF~ I am moving so slow......
Sue still hates pharmacology

Candy Story #1

i was still asleep when i heard my door squeaked.

it was definitely after 9 in the morning because bi had left for classes the last time i checked... (head still in between pillows)

with the best energy i could conjured upon my 100 mega-pounds heavy eyelids, i forced open two slits to minimize the filtration of light into my pupils...

i saw bii...
he smiled.
i reciprocated with my damn cresentic looking moon eyes.
you know like the McDonald's logo?
he kissed me. i kissed him too.
then i felt myself swimming back into dreamland... *literally*

woke up later and noticed i was alone.

Duh~ I felt strange of course. And i laughed to myself,
"It must have been a dream.A pleasant one. It is a Thursday anyways, his class wont be done till 12.30"

Anyhow, i sent him a message to confirm my confusion and heres the reply:

"Bii got class somemore ler, till 1230 today.. went back to kiss darling only"

i went WTF?
Next thing that came to my mind: it was 10 o'clock just now huh?
hehe... Priceless. Moment money can't buy...
Awww~ Schoo schweet.. and Bi, i heart you.
On the contrary, I HATE PHARMACOLOGY.
It is fucking 5 am. The Zahur musical has started echoing from a distant away...

*yawns*

my beloved...

Coconut, my beloved puppy passed away. I was really attached to her. Eventhough it was probably a one sided thing... *sigh*

She was about 2months old... A cute cuddly and pretty dog she was. Would have grown up looking really dashing as a mongrel. Like her mother.

:: one night before the misfortune...coconut and biscuit- LOOK! LOOK! She was resting on her mum...How adorable! ::

I miss her...
I miss the way she would scurry to me when i brought her some tit-bits ie: tiger biscuits and goodlife milk...
I miss the way she sniffled my toes and rounded my feet aimlessly when i stood still.
and I miss the way she *cabut* when i tried to scare her...

I miss those moments when I came down and hang around her and her siblings after long hours of head racking studying hours.

:: the 3 of them sleeping soundly in the basket they were stuffed in while we did some monsoon-cleaning ::

Now, only the memories of her and her siblings are left.

She was knocked down by a car... Still a baby, an innocent one. She wasn't aware of the danger of moving vehicle. *cries...* It must have been really an agony.

Peanut, a brown one which looks like the mother and Donut, a darker male were both kidnapped few days before the appalling incident happened...

:: donut ::

:: peanut - she was trying to escape the basket! >.< :: The last glance i had of her, she was tilting her head in the most adorable manner... As if she was asking me where was i going leaving her behind. I was on my bearbear's bike going back home... And while after that, the insolent driver committed such unforgivable sin!!!!! I didn't know about the incident till the next evening... After she breathed her final goodbye... I will continue missing you... :: R.I.P coconut...::

Transformers is way to good!
Another masterpiece from Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg.

Go watch go watch. I am speechless.

in another realm

when he cries... it felt as if those were my tears...
the hurt is more empowering than those i've scraped through myself...
probably it was just the ache of one person then...
and because i finally have understood those who choose to contain their sorrow within the soul, lock them from the rest of the world as if the related issues do not exist.

"unhappiness heaved only by one person is simplier and less complicated," says him

frankly, i never seemed to agree to that statement. it seems ridiculous! who would wanna beat your own self and bleed to death alone? Worse still, nobody realize that you are dead.

standing on the surface of earth, confronting the eye of solar system, she said a prayer. a gratitude for the blessing that has fallen upon her...

on the contrary to the tranquil morning that has just set in, she is full of hatred and vengeance. A feeling she cannot explain. A state of mind which has tainted the constructive and bubbly self she is on the outside. She wishes for the worst to those in her black book. She hopes for cruciatus curse to fall upon every one who has snipped a part of his life away from him...

Nobody can hear her. The bitterness in her voice is inaudible to those insensitive low-lives!
Sometimes she hope she could be be just like any common person. To blame others at any given time. For by doing this, the fire in her wouldn't licked and burnt down every positive thoughts she ever perceived on friends! Because by accusing others, it will quench the satisfaction of injustice she hope someday will be justified.

with the unsurmountable volatile emotional commotions parading in her thoughts, she has also discovered the unperturbed and secluded ripples somewhere inside her...
she knows she has made the right choice. she has been showered with gift not everyone gets everyday. for she has settled down on a sacred land and she has dug out treasure no money can buy.

she smiles... after drawing in a long deep cup of air. slowly she turns around only to realize he was standing all the while behind her observing her contrast against the saffron and golden honey-coloured sky...

see, this is the invisible support she has always needed. she made an oath upon her life that she will be the crutch when he is paralysed, and the shoulder for support when he cries again...

this doesn't account to much senses if one use logics and facts to calculate. so be it. please do not comment on my incomprehensible post.
he is bestowed with patience that can rival the strongest ship travelling in a storm. he wears the toughest shield that can reflect most sharp and stinging animosity. This is him. The hero within.

unlike some...

It is getting depressing.

The weather. The blog. The environment. The mates. And the person herself.

Where is that bit of hope someone is suppose to catch when things are getting out of hand?

I am very emotional today. Especially when i woke up. Finding myself in the dark. Without lights. Without the warmth that usually surrounds.

I cannot let go... Cannot let go of so many things... I am in a mess right now. How am i suppose to talk about it when i don't even know what is it?

When i hope sleep will carry my discontentment into dreamland. When i hope by the time i open my eyes, every hazy thoughts will be cleared. When i hope, by inducing tears, all the misery will be washed away along with the emotional drainage system...

They were futile hopes! Useless.
I am too naiive to understand my surroundings. Every situations seemed to be magnified. ENLARGED! Larger then life!

Feeling appalled.

Flickers of fire

When words are nicely strewn on a pretty and emotional Hallmark card, they bring positive humongous effect to the receiver...

But.

When nasty words are are used without cautious.
When they are tossed over to you.
When you are least expecting them.

It feels like you have taken those words like catapulted fire stones bombarded to you... Not only it hurts my pride as an individual. It hurts my feminine shadow of me (which i rarely groomed upon). Now that the result has even shaken that side of me, I think it must be a huge sin! A guy whom I considered a friend to spatter such crude and despicable without weighing the consequences of such action, has gone way over my limit of toleration!

YOU think just because you are one measly emotional sucker, you are granted a golden ticket to commit such atrocity???!!! You step on my tail and i will stomp on ur face!

Man.... You really disappoint me... You have hurt me greatly... I remember... I may forget but fail to forgive...

Owh well, it is just tragic isnt it?
Drama queen is back. The urge to blog has resurfaced after such a long long long hibernating season....

Virginity is like a rare chocolate... wtf~

It is eight in the morning... Day break has finally penetrated the menace of cumulus clouds about two hours back which have been threatening to give away random raindrops.... ME HATES MAN-nipple weather!!!!!

Nah~ I hear no rooster barking. Only Biscuit (sexy biatch who gave birth to 4 cuties) crowing... No birds hissing. Only some weird six legged freaks chirping. *sweat*

Alright, it must be the overnight studying schedule. Sigh... With the amount of notes I've consumed, i think i can pass with flying shooting colours for a sleek A1-grade Pathologist!

Anyways, as I was tossing, flipping and barbequeing my brains hoping for the impact and heat to open more pores so that those crappy facts diffuse faster and bulkier into the memory cells, something sprang up from the back of my back brain!!!! Well, maybe i was a lil bit distracted and all with bear sleeping a few feet away from me but nevermind that...

So, what is virginity? Now that I am no longer single and no longer fighting for the live-life-as-single motto as well as no longer conjuring strike to go against lovey dovey couple, I started wondering about it. Then i took a 5min break which ended up as 30min break to check it out. Key-ed on google search "virginity". Whole list of funny funny sites regarding my request poop-ed poppedup (sounds cool- po-pe-dup). ^^

Any-fukin-ways, i came to this website (http://teenadvice.about.com) and voila!! satisfied my hunger for the weirdest question at the weirdest hour.

Cautious: long article ahead. Read only if your are really free. *yawns*

*cut n' paste*

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What does it mean to lose your virginity?

In the strictest term; you are a virgin until you've had sexual intercourse with the member of the opposite sex. But this definition leaves a lot of people out of the loop. While the social policy makers look to redefine marriage to include same sex partnerships, maybe it is time we also revisited what it means to be a virgin.

When we think of virgins, we think of "white wedding innocents" who define sex as a synonym for gender. But the fact is, the standard definition of virginity lets you get away with having a lot of different kinds of sex was still being able to call yourself a virgin. In theory, under the traditional definition of virginity, someone who is homosexual can have sex every day and still be a virgin. Someone who has oral sex regularly is also still a virgin. Does that really make sense? Something is a miss!

The whole narrow definition of virginity is in desperate need of a rewrite. Who better to do it than the first generation of new millennium teens? What does "losing your virginity" mean to you? Is it a state of mind or a specific act? Is it something that can be taken from you, or does it only count if you willingly give it away? When does "fooling around" end and "having sex" begin?

When considering "the new definition", think about these situations and ask yourself how they fit in to the meaning of virginity.

• Is someone who is raped or molested no longer a virgin?
• Is actual intercourse the only act that counts when determining ones virginity?
• If you willingly engage in other intimate sexual acts but do not have intercourse, is it fair to still consider yourself a virgin?
• How would you define losing your virginity if you were/are homosexual or bisexual?
• Is being a virgin based on your feelings, what you do, or is it a combination of both?
• Is there an emotional component to losing your virginity, meaning if you have sex but don't feel anything is different about you, does it count?
• Is the current definition of virginity, and all the social stigma attached to it, biased toward girls? Is this right?
• Does the current definition of virginity exclude homosexuals? Is this right?
• Is virginity subjective (based on how the individual views themselves and what they do) or objective (how the situation is viewed by others on the outside)?

Formulate a definition and then share it with others, let's see what we can come up with.

HERE is the interesting part:

"I propose that virginity is twofold. I think there is an emotional virginity and a physical virginity. I think that to truly no longer be a virgin you must give up both the emotional attachment to your virginity and engage in physical acts of sex.

In my "definition", any intimate sex act which involves nudity and stimulation with the goal of orgasm counts as sex. I think nudity and stimulation are the "points of no return", not penetration. Regardless of whether that act is heterosexual or homosexual in nature, if you share your body with another person, or if you give pleasure to another person that involves orgasm or intends to cause orgasm, you have had sex.

I also feel that virginity is not something you "lose" or something that is "taken", but something you share with another person, like a rare chocolate or a once in a life time sunset.

If you haven't given it, it doesn't completely count as being gone.

I think that people who are raped and or molested are still virgins in the emotional sense even if their body has had sex. They have not stopped "being" a virgin, nor have they experienced the emotions that go along with giving ones body to another. If it is taken from you, although it may physically be sex, I don't think that it is fair to tell you you are no longer a virgin. You may still feel as if you have not had sex, you may still view sex with naivety. Being victimized should not force you to live with a label you neither wanted nor asked for. Virginity is not something we passively lose, non-virginity is something we deliberately choose to take."

___________________________________________________________________________________

As for me, I obviously like this dude's reply. Kewl eh?! Rare CHOCS...I'll make that RARE VODKA!

In a nuttyshell, I have lost my emotional virginity.... =(