Grand Saga... how will it ends?

Guess wat! Im emo NOW! sumtin new? nehhh~
Its good in a way, i havent been posting much emo blogs recently.....
Probably I did not manage to obtain much inspirational mood....
Right now... I am full of it. It is overflowing... yet it is dilapilating...

Juz read pork's blog... seems like one of the ordinary life mess earthlings face everyday... but beneath those words, lies a very significant incident...or maybe some incidents which are pointers to our future and eventually became turning points in our life path... of course we do have diverted routes or there wouldnt be ups and downs. Life will then not be a roller coaster experience anymore....

Secondly... why do good and bad has to come hand in hand? Yin and Yang...? Balancing? Scales? Black and White?

Often.. ppl claim dat life is like a storybook. But bear in mind... and empty and completely blank pages without any prints book. Yet to be written, coloured, decorated, shaded.. torn.. folded..scribbled and signed... Physical appearance act as cover, of course it does comes with thick and thin (urmm.. muka tebal dan nipis lar tu..lolz) And author... of cousre not u! It is everyone u meet in life that is going to help you finish the book. When we were delivered down to breathe in the first ever gulp of air on our own... that was when our story started..

Do you know that life isnt made up of one long whiny complicated story? To me, the huge book consists of many many many short stories. In malay it is called cerpen (whereby the word cerpen is actually shorten from 'cerita pendek' I didnt know dis till my bm teacher told me in f4) Different characters, settings, time and mood... were cultivated...in each short story. And remember the triangle theory that wuz forced down our throat in literature and sastera. (cant remmeber what is it called actually.. gheez...) All i can remember is the climax! coz that is the most interesting part in the entire hill or mountain! Oh yeah! dat is exactly the turning point i wuz talking about.

Incidentally... (hey, im ingenious but incompetant.. dunno why i wanna mention dis.. prolly the "in" prefix sounds nice to me!) i have noticed sumthing lately... not discovered but realised...

I have been reading this chapter of story in my life book... One of the greatest story... a story i will never forget in another 20 years to come... who knows.. i might bring this story along till the day i die... Buried along with the anxiety, expectation and thoughts of never-came true finale...

"...i went through. Unusually, the normal sunny morning was engulfed with chilly air. Cloudy puffs were loaded with sack of waters. Any moment, a needle prick would make the sack burst and sending down gushes of heavy downpour.. There i was rushing up the stairs, taking two at a time... Panting and breathing rapidly.. Heart pumping and blood gushing through my veins.. Yet I didnt stop to catch my breath or calm my nerves down... All that matter then wuz to get to class on time. An extremely important checkpoint for the day... Only a few ticks before the arm of my watch struck 8.

few more steps. Juz channel more enerny to ur thigh and muscle of ur legs!
I MADE IT! pheww... silently thanking the invisible fella that i made it." That was the first dat i met him...

I have seen him countless times but i can never recall any special moments... Noticeable but not enough to switch on the thing.. giggles... i actually thought he was slightly flamboyant. Another Jay chow fashion target. damn! The hairstyle especially! and in disgust, my sight was locked at the way he placed dis pace. WEIRDO! Days moved on... On.. and on.. and on..

Till one day. Fate brought us together... I got to know him so much later. When everyting was almost coming towards an end. The more we excahnged words.. the more the familiar scent arouse within me... I tried pushing it away but.. Alas, it was too overpowering.. *sigh.. i finally gave up. He won! I was defeated..."

I have gone through the climbing process... I succesfully reached the top of the mountain. Now... everything seems to move backward but the opposite direction.. the climbing is now being replaced by the downhill adventure.. Juz like a reflection.. Steep up (hard and challenging) and steep down (u juz trip once and off u slide forever and ever.. gaining speed and momentum as u go... till the last terminal...and den i claim all the impact... seems funny eh? but that is exactly the short story.. It is coming towards an end. Either it wuz me or him who is tryin to expand the ending.. determining the conclusion... No one knows... whether it is going to end up happy or sad. I pray for a happy one, for once i can let it go without hard feelings. I am waiting for either one of us to DOT the ultimate FULL STOP on the last word.

"... it wuz alomst noon. Mumbling and pro-ing and con-ning myself... Martha let the time slips by her hands... I thought i couldnt care less...? I know I am leaving and yes... i am leaving.., it is not my fren or family im heavy hearted about leaving... it is u i cant seem to let go... Dont u noe, dont u noe how much i wish to tell u dat! The words are almost screaming in my lungs! Pounding on my heart to be freed! I feel so constricted! BOunded by the conscience and the realistic brain lobe of mine. Coz i noe, dis is the last time we are gonna meet. The final moment seeing u in that adorable expression.. Always looking calm and laid back. Though i have a feeling u might be feeling worse den i do underneath that mask!

I am not asking for much.. juz the satisfaction of knowing the truth.. Truth that can be risky and ugly but also stand a chance to quench the desire of fulfilling the emptiness. Of course i know it is impossible. Sure u know that well enough too. We both knows... We do.. Alright, i admit... Im afraid, it was juz a wrong hunch afterall.. all this while. I was being mad enough to even get all those ideas. Martha subconsiously let off a pint of crystal from her eyebags... The darker shade below the lively eyes tell me she has not been sleeping properly for the past few days..."

BUGGER! DARKNESS! Su-Lin is tired ler...

Only Love...
Nai nai (11.45pm)

DooFus..

Aha! It is such a pleasant feeling to be able to blog again. Of course I am not sitting in front of my own dearest monitor which never fail to burden me with endless predicament. Showering me not with joy but misery...

This time around, thanks to the extreme release of huge number of spywares and adwares roaming non-blindly within the broadband dimension. Therefore ever-so-ready to hit on unprepared computer owners alike me. Fucked up hackers and malicious codes!! So, my piece of advice: Arm yourself with the spyware anti-s, combaters, cyber doctors before this precious procession of urs get sooo freaking screwed, just like mine too.

CSI (cyber scene investigation) report:

-Victim: Tan Su-Lin
-Date: 24th July 05
-Post Mortem:
1. Cause of Corruption: unknown spywares
2.Mechanism of Corruption: multiple pop-ups, installation of 6 unapproved softwares, frequent freezes
3.Manner of Corruption: infection
4.Symptoms: a total of 56 random pop-ups in the period of 3 hours, took u phreaking 10 minutes to maximize and minimize a damn window, speed of the system decreases till it makes u wonder whether ur 96 grandaunt who suffers osteoporosis and knee arthritis can outrun it
5.Victim's State of Sentiment: Raging rage and Pissing pissed. What more with an insensitive human refusing to listen to ur explanation in between the ruckus! I was there tryin to sort things right and there i wuz being blamed and being stabbed with words. In addition to that, I wuz pretty battered down due to 10 hrs of work. Wat the hell man?

Anywayz, this is a lesson to be learnt. Abide the sudden splitting migraine I encountered, there were a few refreshing and promising news. YAY! I played pool with fish the next day and I 'tapau' him in a game! I am improving! I am! I am! I have grasped the art of hitting the balls. Now that is left to worry is the accuracy. And guess what, I just simply love the clicking sound when two balls hit each other head on. =) So, am going down to subang tomoro to polish up my skill before shirley comes back and my job starts again. I pray india does provide pool game. It cant be that bad rite? *grumbles...

Hehehe... bebe wuz crowned Miss Supremo and Miss Popular if im not mistaken. The news didnt came out to me the right way but what the heck? I cant wait to feast my sight with all the photos she has taken within her 6 months in india. Hohoho! Friday is the day! YIPEE!

Only Love,
tan tan... (Kunalan's Resident)

workaholic? or dreamaholic?

bloggie... ive not been able to blog on my top form for dis past few days... i juz cudnt aloocate time. friggin exausted once i reach home. even right now. at dis second. i hop from blog-to-blog reading and updating myself with my surroundings and felt envious of my fellow blog phreaks (i actually felt dat way????) for failing to create a good post. i even failed to express myself wholly which include dramatism and exageration. Alas, and all i cud managed for the previous post wuz a piece of amatuer-piece (total opposite of masterpiece. i noe im lame! even so, wtf?!)

Sleeping is the hardest daily chore for me. As we all noe, sulin the great, cannot make herself sleep and shut down herself eventhough dozens of grandfather clock struck and chime 4 every morning.... all she ever does at that hour is staring at the monitor screen while fingers fluttering and hovering above the keyboard.... doing wat? of course typing... in wat window? obviously msn window! i dunt noe wats my sickness but hell ya, i just cannot resist internet not onli for chatting but the pleasure of maximazing and minimizing windows, prowling into ppl's frensta acc and blogsites..... haih... i wonder when will i get bored and 'jelak' of doing so.

and hey, working. yeah, i wuz suppose to blog about dis. and i got off topic again. damn! so, working experiene is FUN FUN FUN FUN and TUF TUF TUF TUF! But, I just simply love both my bosses- sui lin and andrew. Coincidentally my boss's is blessed wif a name almost similar to mine: Tan Sui Lin. Guess wat, shes profesional yet shes a child in her. im serious, shes so unique. In a way, she somewhat resembles me and i feel that im somewhat like her.... and urrmm... dis hit me as recent as today. her attitude and personality. =) and shes married to andrew wif three kids! lets juz say im begining to look high on her work towards becoming a succesful her. Of course i shall be way better!

ok, since im in a job that seems urrr.. challenging to blend into customers and left alone to interest dem (another word: im a friggin insurance product demonstrator), i have been scarring away poor shopaholics ranging from window, serious, systematic all the way to speed shoppers. imagine myself running after ppl to get their atention and almost near pleading but in a proffey way for dem to listen! BUGGer! life never seems more colourful right? I am a bug! a society pest! an official and money earning society PEST! LOLZ! oh yeah, my part-time job in dis part-time job also evolves distributing blue and red ballons to small kids and babies! oddly, it feels really nice and u have dis kinda contentment wash all over u while finally to realise that u are actualy smiling from ear to ear seeing kids so happy upon getting a ballon (a ball filled wif nutin but air that is so vulnerable that it cud burst anytime). Silently, I wish to become a kid for a day. Having not to bother about anything at all makes the whole imagination seems perfect! not even the slightest thing....

my next sub part time job in my free lance job couples observations!!!! sound interesting? think again. now I sound like i am ridiculously ridiculed? YEAH! I have been doing that for the past few days. God noes wat provoke me and gave me the 'ilham' to do dat! oklar, blame it on boredom. i alwayz day dream when there were no commotions and so i narrow down and decided to focus into eye-ing couples. How they held each others hands. wat kinda style both of their arm hang onto each others' waist-(mind me, i saw and fela slotting his thumb in between his gf's skirts waistline while walking- i guess his arm must be real tired eh?... LOLZ.) whether or not they suite each other physically... partially admiring multi-racial items. especially chinese and indian as a pair. detecting many chinese-malay combo oso. loathing the sight of lala and lali. fantasizing samy and rani doing it... abu dan bakar making out. KAKAKAKAKAK!!! oh yeah, even uncle and auntie can be musheeeeeee~ gosh! thank god i havent came across a pair of lovey dovey old lads! i shall faint!

oklar. i think dis is enuf for the day. im gonna collapsed any moment now.... getting fever, not enuf sleep, slep at 5 and get up at 8.30am. faster end lar! TOMORO IS MY LAST DAY in ONE UTAMA! YEAH! den two weeks rest, shereen back (outings, outings outings!!!) and off i go to tesco puchong and den sunway pyramid. I have a feeling tesco will not be boring. it is gonaa be muderous............ fabian wont be there too! OH MAN! NO MUSIC!

wats goes around, comes around, wat goes up must come down... KARMA. KAMA.WTH!

Whoa... ive got so much of things to share coz alot have been happening in my life lately. And that wuz since monday. and today its wednesday (ok, like duh right) *eyes rolling*

So, today i am gonna blog, just, exactly, precisely like most of our fella bloggers do. The killer itinery self explanatory and expressionless (i hope i can manage) essay. WTH!

( and so i wrote as much as dis two pathetic paragraph yesterday but i failed to finish it. not even 1/4 of wat i wanna say)

anywayz, ive got a whole different feeling today and i feel like blogging sumtin else today! here goes as a summary of wat i wuz suppose to elaborate yesterday:

MONDAY- nuting special on monday. except dat i learnt about errmmm... amanda and dave. quite a bit of a shock..... nevermind, im staying out of dis matter. thou im pissed!(its eesm now they broke up) ASSHOLE SHYT FACES!

TUESDAY- anson and me... well, we are on talking terms after one month plus of cold war and utter silence... im glad. im really glad. and im happy. i never thought he wud have said sorry. wuz expecting this to last longer... hehehhe... anywayz, if u are reading dis, i really wanna tel u im extremely sorry too and i wanna thank u too! actualy u are a really nice fella. my fault lar, my pride and ego too mar....

WEDNESDAY- BOMB of the week! I SAW VINCE in flesh! omg. i cudnt belif my luck! i spoke to him and well, i think i felt foolish! I held up my guts, and walked towards him, conversation went suntin like dis:

#sulin: urrmm.. hi. u are vince right. (a bit the DUH!!!!!~~~)
#Vince: *smilling... *Awwww~ *MELT* yeah
#sulin: nice to meet u *looking astounded and prolly foolish and high posibility flushed, bright red. as red as TOMATO. I KNEW I WUZ BLUSHING!!!!!!
#vince: oh yeah, nice to meet u too. (hand shake)
#sulin: ur songs are nice.
#vince: ghee.. thanks. wait for my second album. its coming
#sulin: when is it (tryin my level best to sound as a matter of factly)
#vince: mid august. *smile
#sulin: ok, thanks once again and (I MUZ HAVE THE DMANEST AND SILLIEST SMILE PLASTERED ON MY FACE) *damn it

--------exit---------- (after a few minutes, i tot to myself, hes juz right there and how can i not i wana take his autograph) wuz blabbering wif my collegue they told me to went my ass there now and no regrets! so, well, i wore a thick face and walked back there feeling worse den ever and cheek were obviously heating up once again......

#sulin: (sounding dumb) urrmm.. since im seeing u here, mite as well i get ur autograph. *hand him a pacific insurance notebook. (kekeke..aint it good working as product demonstrator, i get all the tools during emergency)
#vince: oh alright, wats ur name?
#sulin: sulin. s-u-'-'-l-i-n (the silly and dumb struck were eating more and more into my stomache feeling it being scrunched up as the second ticked , felt damn empty and hollow)*look at his bro, is dis ur bro?
#vince: (signing looked up) yeah, my bro, daniel.
#sulin: oh hi. (seemingly stoopid. worse den a spastikated child)

-------finsih signing--------- i said thanks once again and walked away. never to turn back. GOSH. dat wuz one of the most embarassing things ive ever done in my entire life. anwayz, the point is i saw him and i spoke to him thou my fren can be dumber den me not to offer me his camera! FABIAN! U OWE ME ONE!!!! I WUZ over the moon... swept off my feet... above cloud 999,999!

THURSDAY (TODAY):

ok, best medicine for anticipation on medical school acpetance IS TO GET A Y-E-S letter from THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES! im officially a manipal student. okok, not too fast. soon to be but still! YAY! not Dr. Tan but Dr. Su-lin. REMEMBER DIS! ok, wuz hyper few hrs bcak. started calling shereen's mum and dad and i think i almost killed them by blasting their eardrum. den excitedly aproaching almost everyone on msn and shout to dem about the GOOD NEWS! anson called after i smsed. lolzzz. HES IN TOO! guess, i'll see ya there dude! lolzzzz. now dat we have settle the war. better dun initiate another one.

chris juz called. He FINALLY CONFESSED. i wuz speechless... happy for him and at the same time...im sad for myself. i lose to him in one of our random bet. (think he mite not even remember dis) great! he has done it. wow.... he must have mustered up unimaginable courage to do dat. i soo look high on him... GOSH! DAMN IT! watever. and well... it seems.. dave and amanda broke up... WTF MAN!

next, chris had to do dis lar:

Chris: when are u leaving? gimme the date, day and time. i come send u off.

exhilarated i answered: 9th or 10th of sept.

and a few seconds right after dat. i almost tot i wuz electrocuted.... it struck me at last! ok, i have onli one month left here................. and dats all? leaving almost everyone behind. and yeah... thanks for the emoes... i started tearing. and he wuz still hyperly babling away since he wuz damn happe and he got the feedback he wanted. glad it is mutual for him. den, i realised dat in a month time, he wudnt be able to call me and bable like dat anymore. even if it is anoying curently... the babling part onli. lolzzzzz! and oh yeah.. i have one unfinish business. sud i or sud i not. the chance of clearing up the dark polutted scene of the scene is almost as imposible as getting into imu. wth!

FRIDAY: i wonder wat is in store for me.

Tengkiu tengkiu~
probably the most straight forward blog ive ever posted.

Chilly night...

BBbbbrrrrrrrr......
its phreaking cold. juz came out from the bathroom with heater adjusted to the max level. water pressure to the lowest point. usually after shower, the bathroom would be engulfed in warm, nice mist. FUnny. not only am i not warmed up but... im feeling rather chilly now. think its the weather. it has been really wet and windy. Muz be the El-nino or La-nina shyt. cant remmeber which is which. lolz... anywayz, i love the weather. i alwayz love the calm serene weather after rain. and the smell of the grass. juz feel really fresh! plus, lately, somebody has been giving me cold treatment. dat adds on to my chill! bluek~

if not it should be the monsoon season. mummy told me its nearing july (her own theory or probably dat wuz wat her mum or her mum's mum taught her. or mayb, she picked it up in one of her morning coffe chat wif those pat poh in pasar pagi) ahahahah~ She was telling me a few days back, that the ghost festive is nearing and dat dis rainy days has got sumtin to do wif it. Obviously I found it absurd but its nice listening to her reasoning. aihh... superstitious.

ahahaha.. got nutin much to do actually. juz came back yum cha and feeling simply superb. one of the best yum cha session ive ever had. and well, i gotta make a dsah outta dat blardy Nibelheim and Mt. Nibelheim leidi!!!! so sick of listening to the village tune again and again!!! HERE I COME FF7!!!!! had been stupidly walking around in circle and HOW COULD I EVEN BLINDLY walked pass dat damn blur monster and mistakenly thought dat it wuz for display??????? IN THE middle of a cavern?? wat wuz i thinking???? Oh yeah, i forgot dat im a confuse kid! hehehehehehehehhehehehehehhe!!!!

Only love,
Su-Lin tan

aura of anger...

IM FREAKING PISSED! why is my aunt alwayz breathing down my neck about financial status??? LIKE I DUN NOE !!!!!!!

I FREAKING NOE LAR! I NOE MEDICINE IS A DAMN EXPENSIVE COURSE AND IT MIGHT TAKE MY DAD'S whole life liability!!!!!! WAT ELSE U WAN ME TO DO????? CHANGE in CARREEERR??????????? I want my dad to tell me myself dat he cant support me! NOT U! I NOE U ARE WORRIED. I AM FREAKING WORRIED TOO! and now im ANGRY as well! Gimme a break lar!

U always want me to go back to form 6 and live a pathetic life in school unifrom and den try for local UNI right???? u wan me to do dat next year??? or u wan me to go russia and risk my freakin life whilst all the bombing and terrorist attacks are on-going?? OR FREAKING LET ME be raped by one psychotic there! or being murdered! maybe not, letme study there and wait patiently for the ASSHOLE GOVERNNMENT to declare the UNI im in isnt rocognised anymore. OR FREEZE myself to DEATH in such climate!

INDONESIA????? get education is any lousy univerity and YEAH! BINGO! I 'll BE ONE LOUSY DOCTOR TOO! WATS THE POINT?

IMU??? I MUZ BE DREAMING if i ever thought of entrering there. THE REQUIREMENT IS FUCKING HIGH! who can obtain a blardy average of 95% and above in CPU??? Think Cpu is easy?? try it urself and u wil noe wat is TORTURE AND CRUCIFY! everyone thinks CPU is one helluva easy peasy kacang panjang's course compared to SAM and A-levels. YEAH. all the universities (especially IMU) look down on CPU, dun they????? wth man? so wat, if the strategy of teaching students are based interactively??? does dat make us -the GRADUATES from CPU any lesser??????

oh yeah, theres alwayz PMC! MY ARSE! DIS WILL STRAIGHT AWAY lead my dad to hell! free ticx there!

everybody... im trying here too. *SIGH! SIGH! SIGH!* that is why i choose to work part time so dat i will be able to earn some money and get a notebook and at least reduce my dad's burden..... BLAME me dat i cant get scholarship lar! IT IS ALL MY BLARDY FAULT NOW RIGHT?????????????? everyone JUZ FUCK OFF! FREAKING FUCK OFF LAR! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.............................hypertension and high blood pressure are having the joy of the day............................................... i lose it again.

non-final fantasies

WOooHOoooo~ AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh.......................... [pin-drop silence]

I guess this happens when someone rot, vegetate and stone too much at home. I start having fantasies. Imaginations gone wild. Dreams of the unreachable. For all i know, I will never shout and cherish for my victory in that matter and yet i enjoy every seconds of deep thinking while travelling in routes of possiblities upon my very own thoughts...

Alot of ppl might come up to me and shoot question like: dun u have any other better things to do? or isnt it a waste of time?

Whatever it is, im proud. Because in a time like this, I actually get to spend time and put a full use in my creativity and inovativity. It seems like ages ago since the last time I get to feel like this. In another words, back to childhood, where u pretend u are a teacher with a kiddo table measured 40cm x 30cm, and mr teddy bear and barbie dolls, power ranger toys with a broken arm and worse of all ur 2 years old bro being ur students....

Or a doctor well equipped with fake syringe (mechanical pencil) , torchlights, tablets/capsules aka smarties or m&m, plaster, bandage (hankies) and stethoscope.WHOA!

Or probably an outstanding chef who manage a dish within minutes of throwing in pieces of legos and alphabets sponge, jigsaw puzzle and imaginary oil, ketchup, water from containers and tupawares... what the heck?

Since im so cooped up in at home... I manage to channel my boredom and replace them with what I call temporary entertainment (mind me, these will eventually lead me to boredom soon) ie: TV! and playstation. Im known for the ability to eat, sleep and shyt in front of my monitor and high anti-resistance to get offline. So, to actually spend time with the dummy box and game box is a success. *mumbles* (They are still another technology mechanisms after all.. why cant I end up wif a gud book and a cuppa of coffe? or take up sports! wat about the swimming plan I was working on??? ) AHAHHAHA! well, books: too expensive and swimming: too tiring and too much of traveling. But hey! harry potter is coming! is coming! and there is this book out there that has captured my heart for quite sometime. It is juz the matter of time im gonna be the owner this book! THE UNDOMESTIC GODDESS by Sophie Kinsella! MAN i gotta read dis!

Been a CSI freak recently, I have been tracking down all the possible showcase ranging from CSI Las Vegas, New York and of course CSI Miami! Watching these criminologists solve homicide cases whose expertise fall in different categories makes me wanna walk in their shoe for the rest of my life. Forensic science is not a bad idea afterall if the job looks exactly like it is shown on those series! Dramatically challenging, putting my life at stake, critical thinking that can possibly crack my skull up, looking suave in heels, suite and goggles. Except the rubber gloves. Smell horrible thus may lead to nausea. PLUS ITS A REAL ENEMY TOWARDS my skin!!!!!!! especially my palms! i used to love The X-Files due to all these attractions. Awww~ mulder i still love ya! hehehe...

And oh yeah, i used to want to be an archeologist. You know....., like Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones and Angelina Jolie as Lara Craft. *sigh... now i know why movies can spoil a child's mind and possibly destroy their future. WHY? coz those movies can even pollute a mind of a young adult like ME! Probably im still an imature soul wearing the skin of a soon-to-be 19 years old. Last time this was due to the effect of reading books like famous five and nancy drew. ^.^ But frankly speaking, i love adventures and travelling.

I do not know what is the main purpose of blogging this entry. I think it diverted from the original inspiration. I wanted to touch more on my feeling but.. I end up describing my childhood dreams... I think my main objective of blogging has been altered after knowing my blog page is easily accessible by quite alot of ppl. Maybe it is time to change my address again... I cant seem to blog about my feelings anymore. Well, i cud be wrong. i havent built up enough sentiments and emotions yet. anywayz, ff7 and CSI is my boredom elixir currently.

Only Love,
sulin tan (5.20am)

cilaka!

triumph for the day:

1. went back to smp. prefect gathering made me feel the fame i used to bathe in. when the emcee announced my name, my juniors were like chuic-ing and shouting for my name. hahahah.. felt really great. it has been so long since i last felt dis way. like u are being worshipped. WHOA?! yau mou? yala. how i wish i can go back to high school and experience the same old miss popular assistant head prefect-TAN SU-LIN for one day. the gathering brought back memories... almost every single thing... yay! saw hean yee.

2. drove to cheras on my own blindedly. finding for directions was as tough as sorting out 1kg of each red and green beans that have been mixed together! blardy fool, every roads and flyovers look friggin similar. like a maze~ next time sud make a mental note to bring along map, compass and natural indicator instinct. its a real achievement. never drove there before.

3. get to noe julie and sze hoe better. glad i went to vanessa's burfday party. i wudnt meet them if i had decided to back off from the invitation. sze hoe (si aka poo aka shyt) is one crappy crazee fella man!

failure for the day:

1. overslept again. causing me late for the gathering. supposed to attend the function by 9 but i made my grand entrance at 11pm. LOLZ! wat to do? blame it on my body.... time awareness is starting to slack again! arghh!!!! i think i need Adam Sandler to film another show entitled: time management for dummies or sillies!!!! this time he sud co-star wif a malaysian chinese mata sepet chick. eheemmm!

2. i am called a lala mui... *sob sob... how can anybody has the heart to say such a thing... dun u noe its hurftful? it hurts from the very core of my brain, whichever lobe is dat till the very end of my sole. OUCH! in malay: dari hujung rambut ke hujung kaki. if i do a direct translation it wud sound: from the end of my hair to the end of my leg?????? aiks? i tot dats for minta ampun. babi hutan! dah karat aku punya bm. dah lah merepek tak habis habis. jelas aku nie dah layak untuk sewa satu bilik kat tanjung rambutan! hahahaha! am juz kidding. bukanye aku terasa sangat. biarlar. aku nie kan... serba boleh. dah menjadi lumrah manusia untuk mengumpat. itulah kemuliaan tuhan. mulut perlu dimanfaatkan dengan sepenuhnya. bagai peribahasa yang berbunyi: kerana mulut badan binasa! syok nye. *berpeluh.....*

i think i need sumsleep. emo volatilation.

onli love,
susu lembu. jom, kita MINUM!

will mirror ever show me my IMPERFECTIONS?

yo! bloggie. my third entry here.. has been awhile since i last updated. frankly speaking, i dun feel quite comfortable pouring my heart out here. it make me feel kinda insecure. probably dis is new to me. and i was used to blog-city all this while. though not as attractive, colourful and obviously plain but, it is dis sumtin i have cultivated between my blog page and i back there that i cannot explain. weird? letme put it dis way... think ive bonded pretty well wif blog-city. LOLZ!

yumyum.. i juz popped a toblerone in my mouth... choc like dis is heaven... especially dark choclates...

i have been relatively sleeping at weird hours for the pass three weeks. and now its becoming a habit. i wonder wats gonna hapen to me when i start working. another matter that recently caught my attention is time-awareness. hrmm.. a real lesson to be learnt after the incident of almost missing my bus to penang. A matter of seconds really can change everything including kena blasting and firing from chris. thanks for the heroic act on holding back the bus driver. pheww... everyone muz be cursing me! Chris, especially. he wuz really on the verge of screaming his head off and almost end up cursing my whole entire generation-from my great great grandparents till my great great great grandchildren. (maybe he has done it discreetly... who noes...) anywayz,all i noe wuz, i felt horible+terrible+vegetable WTH?? settled down whilst swallowing my guilts to catch my breath after 5 minutes sprint. It was a matter of life and death man dat time. plus, i took a plunge on the wrong direction after i got down from the train. Crap! i wuz oredi late for 10minutes den... however, the unusually good natured chris cud still manage to offer me a piece of pathetic facial tissue to wipe away all my cold sweats. man! i wuz almost near to tears. coz i felt damn phreaking silly and useless. how can i fail myself in time management?

next headache dat adds on to my ever lengthy list of ridicule is: I JUZ REALISED I AM also AN IMPATIENCE DUMBASS! what the hell is wrong wif me? do i have to say everything without thinking and shoot it like laser? goodnes! cant i be calm at certain situation???? urghh! i really really hate myself for being such idioT! im such pure high breed stupid-brainless psycho! sulin... next time, let the other person finish wat he/she has got to say first. dont rush into things.. dun... ever ever jump to conclusion. SEE NOW U ARE REGRETTING IT, arent u?
sulin says "yes, i sure do". *sob.. sob...

babi jahanam! my manipal application is really killing me wif anticipation! Is dis wat a future medical student sud undergo in the process to obtain PHD-permanent head damage? to prove dat im more determine and strong witted? blardy fools. almost all my frens have gotten the interview letter but in dis case not me! ive called and inquire about my letter. acording to dem, they hav posted it out but how do u expect me to survive peacefully without the black and white document??? ARGHHH!!!!! i swear to god that if i dont get into manipal by dis september intake. I AM SAYING BON VOYAGE, au REVOIR, SAYONARA, JAI JIAN, BYBYE, TATA, SELAMAT TINGGAL to medicine. why bother? afterall, its not my real dream! not dat i will die or i will fail in life without a doctor cert! i can still be succesful in any other industry and field! (of course not law or business) Dis is what i call destiny. let the fate decide and my heart to support. i have stated my conditions. and let the game begin!!! Gamble and Risk!

mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all...........

Onli Love,
Su-Lin