or so it seems...

*dawson creek song melodiusly playing in the background*

I am slightly tipsy. SO? Yeah, I suck in controlling my emotions when i am tipsy. I bring it higher a few notches by expressing a lil it more. Who doesnt? blah!

It ain't pretty! U ARE right Kailash! U are right! Its ugly. Reality is ugly!!! Its SCARS! It makes deep crate within the confidence we cultivated so hard! And make us crumble down in a second. All it needed are the perfect timing, the right entrance, the accurate moment. The point zero to our vulnerability!

Its never happy when u are happy and the rest are sad...
Its also never happy when u are sad and the whole world are rejoicing...
So, the issue now is:
Has the world turned its back against YOU? or rather u have turned ur back against the entire galaxy of living creature..

Life is never fair. (when has it ever been? oh when we get wat we wanted, but how frequent is dat?) thus, we make believe that it is only fair.
Life is shitty. (shits belnged to which animal, i know noe not...) Yet we scrub away the mess and take it as essential fertilizer needed for our future growth.
Life is always the opposite of what we wish for. Coz one, human as we all know truly and very well, NEVER SATISFIED. Secondly, grass is alwayz alwayz alwayz greener, fresher, tastier, lucious on the other side of the field.. Yet, swallowing the bitter truth which miraculously being taken as the medicine... It is alwayz the remedy to the neverending sucky reality...
Life alwayz slam us down HARD! No? Yes! It does!

All it does are to tear us apart let it be studies, love of life, friends, lecturers, families, more or so my PRIDE in my case. I have been beaten down hard! Tough! Right on my brain. My heart. Impact enough to induce concussion and myocardial infarction! I had the shittiest week in my life! YET i sealed my fucking lips up. I restraint myself from the first tear to fall. I remained calm... I SAY nothing at all... I didnt bother blogging! Coz, at that point, i find no solace at all in any such place. All expressive beahviour are just my weakling excuses!

Im sore... I have alwayz been sore... Sore since my 2nd block. Since the day i fell down and never seem to stand up with enough stability. I took my pace. I doubted yet i tried. Hard. beat dat. It was a test too other den the infinity tests ive been sitting for... A test i created for myself. I havent passed. I am yet to score! as a distinction student for the paper about my life. Similar to how an opportunity would come uninvited... This is how all these disability arise... I have no intention to push it away....

NO! Im not fucking tryin to get fucking attentions! I DO? say watvere shits u readers want ! ITS MY FUCKING BLOG! BAN IT!
"i have a boat, her name is Anna, and she bans everything."
I dont wanna sleep and not get up! I dont wanna whine and hope things will get better. I dun wan to depend on the cloud to move away to release the sun beam...

Oh, did i mention dat i never noe wat i want?

But, is it life afterall that is to be blame? maybe yes, maybe not. It is meant to be.., i suppose. At least thats the best settlement to my inner strength...

No one taught me life is to be endured. Everyone says life is an experience. Its all in the mind...

I need the black hole. I am still searching for the ultimate black hole. To discard all my sorrow....

MOUrning GLory...

moURning Glory...

I'm totally sick of Physio. -collapse-

Its 6.11am, I didn't sleep... I manage to finish. *pai tin pai tae*
Haha! Fresh air, morning symphony of nature, happiness = money can't buy!
Rain has stopped temporarily after its ferocious commencement since Thursday eve.

I wonder what my fellow friends are doing right now....

Ndru-working his arse off! *sweating emoticon*
Mel-*shrugs* i heard the loud bleeping of alarm clock twice. Might be hers. Keke!
Dy- No response... Living in his world again...
Eng- BET with my life hes asleep now!
Jiahong- "it is over..."
Steven Tan- in slumberland since 4.52am. ASS!
Ryan, Pohhock, Shean Yi- takde reply langsung but they are online...
Me- Blogging and imagining the mentioned names' sleeping position ZZZzzzZzzZ

I miss mummy... Almost two months didnt speak to her adi... Bad Bad Su-lin...
Whole night was thinking about her only... M.U.M.M.Y!!!!!!!!~~~~
"hamitsu la?"
"siau liam lu mah..."
-------------------back to final revision n fingers crossed--------------

ever wonder why Morning Glory is named such...?
eh? i oso dont know... XD

Solitary Expedition...

has come to an end.....

So.....

Having to walk alone, sail alone in ocean of dangerous tide, almost losing grip on navigation throughout cloudy menancing weather for months...it is almost 5months if im not mistaken...
A lone traveller I was... *sigh..* well of course.. with a lil help from maps and compass and stars...

After months of personal endurance.... Living along with suppressed anger, annoyance, disatisfaction, and overpowering heartaches... sometimes... mixture with a lil droplets of tears when things seemed hopeless...

Finally! FINALLLAYYYYY!~Streak of sunlight penetrate through layers of black puffy cloud and mist... I began to see people... I feel warm... I sense the presence of love....

I am no longer alone...
I FOUND JUSTICE! YES JOSE!
I FOUND JUSTICE! Yiipeedeedo!~
(to be continue...)

I do not know how to appreciate my heartfelt thanks... but to express it here...
Thank you everyone... especially The Anti KSG... T.T

With Love,
KSG = Killer Sexy Girl =b

under attack???

UNDER ATTACK???

Well, terrorist has found its way to India... The divine land of Ghandhi...
7 explosions, 140 dead, 250 injured in Mumbai in 30 minutes.
Incident was recorded from 6-6.30 pm (indian time).

"Police said at the time that they were revenge for the killing of more than 1,000 Muslims by right-wing Hindu mobs during communal violence in the state of Gujarat the year before.
But Indian investigators also have been looking into a possible link between those blasts and a wider ring of Islamic terrorism around the world."

Normally, i would just feel sorry for these victims as thats the most i can do. But now that im literally here! HERE in INDIA! MANIPAL, I am a lil concern and worried myself. No, its not about myself... When i heard the news, it staright away sent me into thinking:

"what if... what if... manipal was the target...? I might escape...if im lucky... but...but.. but.. i would be digesting the ugly truth that not all my lovely and wonderful friends would manage to escape too. I wouldnt be able to accept the sight of the lecture building or hostels splurted with bloody blood everywhere... Of coz if i was dead, i wudnt be facing this horror... I wouldnt want my friends to leave such way..."

damn.. guess im juz too sensitive.ishh~ cant help it k! a caring, loving soul like me hor...? KEKE!

Somemore lar Sharadha is under construction now, the whole stretch of spooky corridoor adds to the spookiness. Now that it looks like a concentrated camp, everytime i walk through, i get goosebumps. Feels like an after-war atmosphere. Im serious... from an already very narrow corridor, it is now an impossible route to walk through because those brainless workers arranged furniture ie: beds, cupboards, tables, chairs from almost 20 rooms along the two walls of the coridoor.. I think Enghan wudnt fit. No joke! bluek. sorry...

::before:: now, try to picture the coridor with both sides arranged with furnitures!

But, anwyaz, i was ranting about the grief i am temporarily feeling... One of the news clip I was listening to online, a man who saw the incident himself speculate passengers being thrown out from the compartments and lying motionless on the railway... ppl hanging on the train groaning for help... Man, these are juz cruelsome! WHY do these inhumane ppl gotta do these? What satisfaction do they gain? So what if you conquer the world? A world is a dead piece of land without the blood flowing inside the living creatures, a world is dead without the energy flow from the human... Kill us and do wat? in the end u will eventually die...

Whereas, there are some less sensitive ppl around me:
[12:16:22 AM] owner says: am watching the news from cnn and abcnews about the bombing

[12:19:40 AM] •ñ dr ü• says: its a bombing, BOOM then SCREAMS

:: he reckon, bombing is juz a series of BOOM--> SCREAMS--> end of story kinda thingy::
i reckon,he thinks we cant do anythin oso wut if at all we were all to be targeted...

owner:eh india kena bomb ler...
nicho:i know wat happen ah?
owner:first class compartment aih...
nicho:hope it wont reach manipal .if not tiger circle sure gone
:: dis fela care for a stupid mountain rather den the joint or saiba or dollops or snack shaQ! :: wtf.
Bluek! KENA!!

Btw ppl, Mumbai is kinda near Karnataka u noe...

Okla.. maybe not that near... but still!?

Jom! Berbahasa!

Orang bagi betis, nak peha!

Itulah peribahasa keagungan masyarakat kite hor? apa tu neraka!? (Wat The Hell!?)

Sikap tamak yang meluak-luak tidak sekalipun menambat perhatian tuan punya webapage nie!
"Bapok sial. Poyo siot la ko..."
Paham2 je la... Ingatkan, manusia kenal darat bila kaki dah mula tidak menyentuh tanah, entah ngape, si jahanam yang tak erti tata cara berserta etika semasa bersosial mula naik kepala orang. Kalo la aku ni bomoh..., kan ku jahanamkan budak tu jatuh ditimpa malang untuk 365 malam dan 366 siang! Cis! Bedebah yang tidak kurangnya jika dibandingkan dengan hantu syaitan yang hina! Nak jadi anjing pun boleh! ANjing KURAP!

Baik aku sumpah agar perkara yang sedang diungkitkan akan tergelincir, patah semua tulang dada, muka hantam terus kat longkang yang ditumbuhi kulat masam!
Bagus kan? Kan? Kan? Kan?

Dahlah kepala otak penuh dengan tahi kucing. Muka cilaka yang menaikkan api kemarahan aku setiap kali aku pandang ke arah ekor tu, membuatkan aku rase nak mengisikan dan sumbatkan tahi segar lembu2 kat india sampai tepu akal dia! Umur dah la berabad tapi kerenah macam budak budak je.
Menyampah aku tengok! *puik*

Sesiape yang ingin sangat terasa sebab aku sebut perkara2 yang di atas (ok tatabahasa is wrong), dipersilakan untuk merasai sepenuh-penuhnye! sesiape yang syok sangat pikirkan yang dia tu merupakan sumber kepada kepedihan hati tuan punya blog nie, haraplar ko pandai membawa diri. Sebab, aku nie bukanye baik sangat. Bukanye alim yang penyabar mahupun banyak ber-tapi ngan musuh ketat aku. Mase aku nak letup, aku biar je. Baik kesan letupan parah ke ringan, asalkan engko dijahanamkan! Tu je. Tok sah aku nak sakit! Selalu je disepitkan dalam masalah yang bukan-bukan! Ish~

Maaf kan aku ye, pembaca2 aku sebab berbahasa melayu...

Walaupun kite tumpang di negeri orang namun kite haruslah tidak lupa akar asal usul kite!
"Hujan Emas di negeri orang, Hujan Batu di negeri sendiri, baik di negeri sendiri"
BETUL? Bodoh! Ape yang aku merepek nie?? What da fuck am i tokin? LOLZ.

Sienezz Strike~

Sienezz Strike~

::cute leh? Ppl use EEG, these two kuchis use panties!::

Kuchi #1: pik pok ping ping poo? Pikopiko pong pong~ pang puni peeeee sinchan?
(dude, ur headgear damn funky siot! like sinchan's one?)

Kuchi #2: nenebubu. alekeru kulu kulu mameemoomi.
(nenebubu. i like ur checkers boxers! got larger "lobang"s to store tentacles.)

Wtf, im DAMN SIENZZ!!!!___________________________________
Its pouring rain outside...

Its gloomy... Its suppose to be saddening...
Its suppose to be boring... (it is boring actually, blah~)

BUT IM Overjoyed!!! dunno why!
I am just simply estatic! ^-^

Guess wat? I have been staying in my room-sweet-room for almost a year thinking that the net window (letme call it net-dow) is sealed dead! For all i know, I can actually glide open that!!! OMG! Ezy was bursting out series of mean laughter at me! After she chopped her fingernails, she walked over to the window, at first i tot she was being funny! NO! SHE PUSHED THAT NET-dow TO ONE SIDE! ARGHHH~

all these while, I abandon my attempt to capture nice moon pic cause i can never get any pic beyond the net!

My missing-NS- syndrome is back! I started thinking about johan again..
Aih~

Susu Stupid & Silly?

Susu Stupid & Silly?

I can't believe I actually was so silly during spotters!?

Well, I HAVE to believe it anyways....
Coz i was being that stupid!

Not only I kind of screwed up my last question(this is no biggie....) , but I believe I screwed up the person before me too...
Im really sorry...
The overwhelming guilt is rumbling within me like mad. Damn, trust me, I've never felt so remorse before.
-_____-"

T____T

Spotters was fine alright. Started off with the 2nd station and I came to the 2nd last station (a rest station) thinking that was my last. There you go... i sat there like a Maharani waiting for lecturers to collect my paper. When I was acknowledge, i think half a min outta the precious, crucial ONE minute given per station was gone. DAMNmyself lar!

That fella before me must be cursing me from head to toe now along with my generations...
I feel horible!
Justkillmelah!!!!!!!!!!!

dejected.. i walked facing the rest of my classmates going in for the test feeling worse then ever, so felt like bursting out when i saw sewdo and dailou's brightly lit face... *head down, strolled back with the least happiness... and here I am typing away*

yare yare yare....

tskk tskk tskk....

tao tiaa....