matters of the heart

sometimes it is too painful
to even think about what has happened and what is going to happen

at times, it feels as though i am in cloud nine
blissful and happier than any woman in this world

today...
i am being surrounded by this queer unfathomable sensation...
after much thought...
i finally found a vocab to describe this feeling of mine...
many call it bittersweet...

a few days ago, i felt numb emotionally...
things were happening one after another
that i could barely catch my breath
i wasn't even running but i know i was being chased...
because before i knew it, i stumbled upon a dead end with no conclusive solutions...

i feel like crying my lungs out
but only a squeak escaped...

maybe i have been bottling up a lot of things subconsciously
perhaps that pouch of emotions can no longer withstand the pressure...
i have no idea...

however, one thing i know for sure...
i am messed up...
and i am falling in love.
only deeper than i have thought...

ripples of thoughts...
@1156
serenity...