no one understands...

Not so long ago, i blogged about how no one but only life can gives us a second chance...
It still holds true to me...
And i OWE no fucking one an explanation of what i do...


After what happened 2 days ago...
The more i realise i am alone in this voyage called life...
Not even my closest soul mate understood what went wrong...
For when i was crying in fear and in pain...
She took me for granted thinking it was only about the after effect of alcohol...
But what pained me deeper was the fact that she was only looking for a solution to fix things...
No one was listening to my cry of despair...
I felt so lonely... 
So lonely that i could really go mad...
Yes i was shouting but i wasn't over reacting... 
All i needed then was a shoulder to cry on and a pair of ear to listen to my predicaments i will be facing the next few days...
I was really scared... 


True enough, it is happening...
I am being isolated by my own blood...
In the name sake of concern?!


What about my feelings? 
No one ever bothered checking into that part of me...


All i am feeling at the moment is the older i grow, the lonelier i get...
And that, i realise is my ultimate fear...


I am indeed exhausted emotionally...
Very tired of pleasing everyone in my life... 
Tired of living up to expectations...
Tired of upholding my believes...
Tired of fighting what i thought worth fighting for...


So, I am going to let go of that grip right now...
Because i definitely feel lighter...
Because of the end of the day, i live for no one but myself...
People who so happened walk into my life will one day leave my ship...
People who so happened to be someone i called family can only be concerned...


Maybe i am given a chance to understand daddy...
I stumbled upon answers i was never seeking for...
Because i am currently taking a stroll in the darker side of life...
The path my dad used to walk...
I get to walk it now...
And i see the reasons why he walked it once...


In short, i walk this life alone...
No one understands it better than myself...
It is true that no one understands... NO ONE!
Hence from today onwards, i vouch not to explain anymore to anyone who will never get it...
Enough is enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!