Shuey!

Since the beginning of 2010. Nothing has been going right.

Started off with losing an SE phone and purse with IC, CC, every colourful cards anyone could possibly owned. Spent 300bucks getting a new IC, 1700bucks for a new iphone and petty cash for replacement of every thing else.

Then the day i wanted to drive my car down to Melaka, car battery had to die on me. FINE!
Requested Pohhock to come over and help me jumpstart my car so i can trail behind him but the moment my brother saw his car turned into my apartment, big fat huge droplets of HEAVY rain came pouring down like some waterfall. IT WAS LIKE IN THE MOVIE! THE SUSPENSE THE CLIMAX! I WAS TOO FLABBERGSTERRED! I SWEAR I SHOUTED REAL LOUD! Twice! Once in the house and another time in the parking lot. Daddy was so nice to actually come down and help. (that is the only good thing, man i was touched. because he usually tells me to fix my own shits)
Everyone got drenched in the process of fixing my car. WHY? Because the car was parked in an open area! DARN IT!

When finally the car was successfully transported to Melaka, on the 2nd day, while the car was parked outside my house. OLAlA! The passenger side window got shattered by some incompetent grasscuter cum stones/mud-cutter. (FUCKING SEE where you aim your blades la you doofus!)

Plan to go krabi. Then had to cancel seeing so many unfortunate events happening to me. Riot somemore in Thailand! DIU!!!!!!

Last day in Melaka before holiday started, went to jusco, walked normally on the escalator up also i tripped and fell like a hippopotamus. WTF! Was wearing my shortest pants somemore. must have been a sight. a fugly sight!

Holiday started, 1st day of holiday, tripped on the invisible chain at the curve. Another elephant/hippopotamus falling stunt. Bruised my right knee, pelvic, left shin and ultimately ego. All thanks to some 2 people!

To top it all off! Yesterday night, i fucking lost my 2months old iphone in the club. On our table on our sofa.
I am still bound to the 2 years contract with maxis no matter what. The best part is, i dont have an iphone anymore! SCREW U LAH TAN SU LIN!


YAY! WHAT MORE CAN THIS FUCKY YEAR BRINGS ME?!
BRING IT ON!

DF!

i cant believe i am such a DUMB FUCK!
i think i am entitled to be fucked and fucked till i get my perianal riped!
WTF AM I THINKING?!?!?!?!??!?!?!
WHY DONT I EVER LEARNT MY LESSON!!?!?!?!?!?!
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot forgive myself. i dont even know what to feel now.
sorry. anger. hatred. loathe. regrets.

Lost a phone and a purse due to my own silliness 2months back.
NOW LOSING A FUCKING IPHONE ALSO BECAUSE OF MY DUMBFUCKNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU ARE A DUMB FUCK TAN SU -LIN!
you dont fucking deserve to live in this planet!
go pack your fucking bag and migrate to planet for dumbfucks!

wonders...

if it is possible to love two person at the same time?
*continues wondering*

i suppose one will fade off as time passes...

two days ago, i had a random conversation with shan.
we both agreed that love is just a fraction of life, and it is NOT the core of life itself as oppose to many's beliefs.

anyone can get married, start a journey together in life, produce babies like there is no tomorrow, work their buffalo's asses off to support the future family and yada.. yada.. yada... boring stuff. *yawns*

now, what interest me is, if there is a point of life when you cheat on your other half. Be it emotionally/physically. Then what?

we are not saying that this cheating element is fixed as part of the marriage plan a married couple signed up for.
however we are saying that if it arrives, it just comes tumbling down and collapses anyone's strong will, no?

whether it is acceptable in this society? i highly doubt it.
but many countries practise such polygamy gangbang shit... ROFL!
for example: maldives.
hrrmmmmm...

shan says emotional cheating is worse than physical cheats.
i reckon the other way around.

after much discussion, we finally made a conclusion saying that guys CANNOT tolerate physical cheating from the gf/spouses. *cough-ego-cough*
whereas the girls CANNOT accept emotional cheating in addition to physical cheating. LOL!

but now my question is:
possible to love two person at the same time when you are already attached?

a night to remember =)

enjoyed the night with Ding Xin, Foong, Shaun, Beh, Tan, June and Dy!
*hearts you guys!!!* =))

me learnt how to play the dice probabilities game. it was too fun and funny! =P
arigato kozaimasu peeps!!!
we drank about ermmmm4-5 towers? hahah!

this is one of the random moments when i feel like i still have great friends around me.
to cheer me up and to make me feel like i am still sane.
because there are too many dramas and backstabber out there. geez!

similarities vs. coincidences

similarities and coincidences.
what are the odds?

in everyday life, i meet people with so many similar features as me.
or so my mind says.
or should i say coincidence?
the thought of yesterday.

have i missed out on so many prospects in life?
basing it all entirely on similarities...
have i closed my doors?
or is it merely a mind game.
that the eyes only see what the mind wants you to see!
hence it is heading towards that direction.

today i believe strongly that the mind is simply playing infant tricks on the adult mind.
but how?
i reckon, Mr.Minds narrows down all the possibilities to ground zero.
i was made to believe that who/what i come across in life similarities.
instead of coincidences...

p/s: dont we all girls love similarities. just like how we adore jeweleries...

however, i am proud now, that my heart taught me what coincidences are...
and it shall stay that way...
from now onwards.

Tests of will-power

there have been many tests in the recent months.
tests to challenge my will against my desire...
i am glad i realised this as i grow.

everyone feeds on fantasies at one time or another.
it is about holding back, saying no and snapping back to reality.

wiser nevertheless sexier! =)

after all living in a surreal world made up by purely mind power isn't going to end up anywhere, right?

two persons told me this:
"what he doesn't know wont hurt him"
we shall debate about this in the future.

Waterpipe

I am behaving very extraordinary today.
This is the 3rd time i blogged in less than 16hours...
Meaning it is more than the times i have blogged in the past 1 year... Geez!

Want to know why?
Because I am behaving like a leaking waterpipe since yesterday night.
I think it is because i do not know how to handle parting very well.
I just had another bout of crying.... =((((((((((

A few minutes after i walked into the empty house, emotions came gushing out of nowhere and they are squeezing into my eyes, waiting to be released through torrential tears...
I could not even pretend it was there and pushed it away!

His absence is making me Un-Sulin. Damn it! Argh!
I feel weak inside, sorrow and all i want to do is cry and sneeze into tissues after tissues...

It feels so hard, prony!!!! why!!!!?????
Just for a week! i cant even do that?
are you kidding me sulin? *shrugs*

I miss his smiles, his laughters, his silly lame jokes, his funny expressions!
I miss his company... Eventhough i freaking ignore him all the time when he is around as i am very much into my fb addiction spree...

This feelings sucks! I cant imagine how i am going to live without him if he ever leave me first to the afterlife...

BABY!!!!! COME BACK LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T____________________________T

8 days till 1095....

Why is it that after countless times of parting...
and so many years of being a part of each other...
and so many fights that have erupted...

Tears started rolling every time we say goodbye to each other?

A typical scenario of taking someone for granted, i suppose...

Walked a total of
2years 11months and 10days...
together...

8days and counting till our 3rd anniversary...

Love him!
Am going to miss his absence...

Points to improve upon:
- be independent
- go out, catch up with besties
- spend quality moments alone (NOT implying anything. tehee!)
- do things you never get around doing while he was right there
- cherish the moments of missing each other. you hardly feel it anymore after marriage. haha!
-LASTLY! CHEER UP! (p/s: it is all in the mind)

Hope i can get another round of BR tonight with my new found friends. =)
Though it is gonna be tricky without transport! *groan*

Suesie...
1:47pm
(Partly Couldy Sky + Gloomy Afternoon)

Reflecting: You or I?

I..................................

I have come to a stage where i feel the need to isolate myself from the rest of the world.
I just want to be alone!
Hiding in my cocoon licking my self inflicted wound...

The more i think about that few matters, the more swell up my lacrimal ducts become...
I thought i know myself...? No, it seems like i don't?

For once, i realised for the longest time, i haven't been reflecting...
on my words, my actions, my decisions... etc
Spoken to him about it, yet the scenes are still playing in my head. Over and over again.
hrmphh... not helping.

I feel like a failure. To miss such important upbeat of life.
It is as though i have missed an obvious life threatening finding in a patient.
A matter of life and death...

Only this time, it involves and is a threat to my life.

To inadvertently or subconsciously hurt someone?
Different entities but separated by very minimal margins...

But still? It was too innocent! TOO INNOCENT.
I did not even realise. Because to me, it was so insignificant... it was too benign...
It took me quite some time to remember what i actually did.

You................................

Assumption that you are generally accepted?
WRONG sue WRONG!
What you feel for that particular person may never be reciprocated.
Because not everyone is as forgiving as you. Fullstop.
Or maybe people are just sensitive at that fraction of seconds and *BAM* you have to be the cause to the whole hoo-haa.
Now, bear the consequences bah...
*nods su-lin*

No solution. Just a lesson to be learnt. An expensive one.

5 forbidden fruits and counting...
I wish i can taste a refreshing bite anytime soon.