it is time for me resolute and really change my behaviour on being the tidak apa sulin.
i seriously think i have a serious prob dealing with that part of myself.
the fact that ive hurt my best friends for not being able to potray my loyalty and not being able to play the best show to compensate their expectations... then, my fault it is.
now, ive lost sumone who thinks too much. and which i still cant belif he can think DAT much... i am not goin to do anything anymore... however hurtful and how im goin to miss being with the person... whether or not ive shown the love as much as i have shown to sumone else... i cant do anything anymore... coz there is no point convincing someone who will never believe u... who compares the rocks and cars? comparing two different things. how can my treatment to everyone be the same? HOW? im not robot, im not mechanical. i cant feel the same towards everyone! i cant! and obviously no one can! but, i feel the love... i love everyone... love dem in different ways... i hate chihuahua, yet i still love him... i do...
i wasnt upset at all before sleeping, now dat i have being woken up having to be "entertained" by 2 long msgs from sumone i juz got closer to and whom i think resemble sumone ive lost... that sent me straight to dead end... i cant afford to lose anyone anymore... i have so many close calls... guess i juz have to play along and be more mechanical for my whole life now... sacrifice... not being forced to... but to make others understand... and love is love and that affection is affection... both are different elements...
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