enjoyed the night with Ding Xin, Foong, Shaun, Beh, Tan, June and Dy!
*hearts you guys!!!* =))
me learnt how to play the dice probabilities game. it was too fun and funny! =P
arigato kozaimasu peeps!!!
we drank about ermmmm4-5 towers? hahah!
this is one of the random moments when i feel like i still have great friends around me.
to cheer me up and to make me feel like i am still sane.
because there are too many dramas and backstabber out there. geez!
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
similarities vs. coincidences
similarities and coincidences.
what are the odds?
in everyday life, i meet people with so many similar features as me.
or so my mind says.
or should i say coincidence?
the thought of yesterday.
have i missed out on so many prospects in life?
basing it all entirely on similarities...
have i closed my doors?
or is it merely a mind game.
that the eyes only see what the mind wants you to see!
hence it is heading towards that direction.
today i believe strongly that the mind is simply playing infant tricks on the adult mind.
but how?
i reckon, Mr.Minds narrows down all the possibilities to ground zero.
i was made to believe that who/what i come across in life similarities.
instead of coincidences...
p/s: dont we all girls love similarities. just like how we adore jeweleries...
however, i am proud now, that my heart taught me what coincidences are...
and it shall stay that way...
from now onwards.
what are the odds?
in everyday life, i meet people with so many similar features as me.
or so my mind says.
or should i say coincidence?
the thought of yesterday.
have i missed out on so many prospects in life?
basing it all entirely on similarities...
have i closed my doors?
or is it merely a mind game.
that the eyes only see what the mind wants you to see!
hence it is heading towards that direction.
today i believe strongly that the mind is simply playing infant tricks on the adult mind.
but how?
i reckon, Mr.Minds narrows down all the possibilities to ground zero.
i was made to believe that who/what i come across in life similarities.
instead of coincidences...
p/s: dont we all girls love similarities. just like how we adore jeweleries...
however, i am proud now, that my heart taught me what coincidences are...
and it shall stay that way...
from now onwards.
Tests of will-power
there have been many tests in the recent months.
tests to challenge my will against my desire...
i am glad i realised this as i grow.
everyone feeds on fantasies at one time or another.
it is about holding back, saying no and snapping back to reality.
wiser nevertheless sexier! =)
after all living in a surreal world made up by purely mind power isn't going to end up anywhere, right?
two persons told me this:
"what he doesn't know wont hurt him"
we shall debate about this in the future.
tests to challenge my will against my desire...
i am glad i realised this as i grow.
everyone feeds on fantasies at one time or another.
it is about holding back, saying no and snapping back to reality.
wiser nevertheless sexier! =)
after all living in a surreal world made up by purely mind power isn't going to end up anywhere, right?
two persons told me this:
"what he doesn't know wont hurt him"
we shall debate about this in the future.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Waterpipe
I am behaving very extraordinary today.
This is the 3rd time i blogged in less than 16hours...
Meaning it is more than the times i have blogged in the past 1 year... Geez!
Want to know why?
Because I am behaving like a leaking waterpipe since yesterday night.
I think it is because i do not know how to handle parting very well.
I just had another bout of crying.... =((((((((((
A few minutes after i walked into the empty house, emotions came gushing out of nowhere and they are squeezing into my eyes, waiting to be released through torrential tears...
I could not even pretend it was there and pushed it away!
His absence is making me Un-Sulin. Damn it! Argh!
I feel weak inside, sorrow and all i want to do is cry and sneeze into tissues after tissues...
It feels so hard, prony!!!! why!!!!?????
Just for a week! i cant even do that?
are you kidding me sulin? *shrugs*
I miss his smiles, his laughters, his silly lame jokes, his funny expressions!
I miss his company... Eventhough i freaking ignore him all the time when he is around as i am very much into my fb addiction spree...
This feelings sucks! I cant imagine how i am going to live without him if he ever leave me first to the afterlife...
BABY!!!!! COME BACK LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T____________________________T
This is the 3rd time i blogged in less than 16hours...
Meaning it is more than the times i have blogged in the past 1 year... Geez!
Want to know why?
Because I am behaving like a leaking waterpipe since yesterday night.
I think it is because i do not know how to handle parting very well.
I just had another bout of crying.... =((((((((((
A few minutes after i walked into the empty house, emotions came gushing out of nowhere and they are squeezing into my eyes, waiting to be released through torrential tears...
I could not even pretend it was there and pushed it away!
His absence is making me Un-Sulin. Damn it! Argh!
I feel weak inside, sorrow and all i want to do is cry and sneeze into tissues after tissues...
It feels so hard, prony!!!! why!!!!?????
Just for a week! i cant even do that?
are you kidding me sulin? *shrugs*
I miss his smiles, his laughters, his silly lame jokes, his funny expressions!
I miss his company... Eventhough i freaking ignore him all the time when he is around as i am very much into my fb addiction spree...
This feelings sucks! I cant imagine how i am going to live without him if he ever leave me first to the afterlife...
BABY!!!!! COME BACK LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T____________________________T
8 days till 1095....
Why is it that after countless times of parting...
and so many years of being a part of each other...
and so many fights that have erupted...
Tears started rolling every time we say goodbye to each other?
A typical scenario of taking someone for granted, i suppose...
Walked a total of
2years 11months and 10days...
together...
8days and counting till our 3rd anniversary...
Love him!
Am going to miss his absence...
Points to improve upon:
- be independent
- go out, catch up with besties
- spend quality moments alone (NOT implying anything. tehee!)
- do things you never get around doing while he was right there
- cherish the moments of missing each other. you hardly feel it anymore after marriage. haha!
-LASTLY! CHEER UP! (p/s: it is all in the mind)
Hope i can get another round of BR tonight with my new found friends. =)
Though it is gonna be tricky without transport! *groan*
Suesie...
1:47pm
(Partly Couldy Sky + Gloomy Afternoon)
and so many years of being a part of each other...
and so many fights that have erupted...
Tears started rolling every time we say goodbye to each other?
A typical scenario of taking someone for granted, i suppose...
Walked a total of
2years 11months and 10days...
together...
8days and counting till our 3rd anniversary...
Love him!
Am going to miss his absence...
Points to improve upon:
- be independent
- go out, catch up with besties
- spend quality moments alone (NOT implying anything. tehee!)
- do things you never get around doing while he was right there
- cherish the moments of missing each other. you hardly feel it anymore after marriage. haha!
-LASTLY! CHEER UP! (p/s: it is all in the mind)
Hope i can get another round of BR tonight with my new found friends. =)
Though it is gonna be tricky without transport! *groan*
Suesie...
1:47pm
(Partly Couldy Sky + Gloomy Afternoon)
Reflecting: You or I?
I..................................
I have come to a stage where i feel the need to isolate myself from the rest of the world.
I just want to be alone!
Hiding in my cocoon licking my self inflicted wound...
The more i think about that few matters, the more swell up my lacrimal ducts become...
I thought i know myself...? No, it seems like i don't?
For once, i realised for the longest time, i haven't been reflecting...
on my words, my actions, my decisions... etc
Spoken to him about it, yet the scenes are still playing in my head. Over and over again.
hrmphh... not helping.
I feel like a failure. To miss such important upbeat of life.
It is as though i have missed an obvious life threatening finding in a patient.
A matter of life and death...
Only this time, it involves and is a threat to my life.
To inadvertently or subconsciously hurt someone?
Different entities but separated by very minimal margins...
But still? It was too innocent! TOO INNOCENT.
I did not even realise. Because to me, it was so insignificant... it was too benign...
It took me quite some time to remember what i actually did.
You................................
Assumption that you are generally accepted?
WRONG sue WRONG!
What you feel for that particular person may never be reciprocated.
Because not everyone is as forgiving as you. Fullstop.
Or maybe people are just sensitive at that fraction of seconds and *BAM* you have to be the cause to the whole hoo-haa.
Now, bear the consequences bah...
*nods su-lin*
No solution. Just a lesson to be learnt. An expensive one.
5 forbidden fruits and counting...
I wish i can taste a refreshing bite anytime soon.
I have come to a stage where i feel the need to isolate myself from the rest of the world.
I just want to be alone!
Hiding in my cocoon licking my self inflicted wound...
The more i think about that few matters, the more swell up my lacrimal ducts become...
I thought i know myself...? No, it seems like i don't?
For once, i realised for the longest time, i haven't been reflecting...
on my words, my actions, my decisions... etc
Spoken to him about it, yet the scenes are still playing in my head. Over and over again.
hrmphh... not helping.
I feel like a failure. To miss such important upbeat of life.
It is as though i have missed an obvious life threatening finding in a patient.
A matter of life and death...
Only this time, it involves and is a threat to my life.
To inadvertently or subconsciously hurt someone?
Different entities but separated by very minimal margins...
But still? It was too innocent! TOO INNOCENT.
I did not even realise. Because to me, it was so insignificant... it was too benign...
It took me quite some time to remember what i actually did.
You................................
Assumption that you are generally accepted?
WRONG sue WRONG!
What you feel for that particular person may never be reciprocated.
Because not everyone is as forgiving as you. Fullstop.
Or maybe people are just sensitive at that fraction of seconds and *BAM* you have to be the cause to the whole hoo-haa.
Now, bear the consequences bah...
*nods su-lin*
No solution. Just a lesson to be learnt. An expensive one.
5 forbidden fruits and counting...
I wish i can taste a refreshing bite anytime soon.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Hollow
loneliness = death
i think i am nearing there...
stomach feels hollow
but i am not hungry
heart feels aching
but i am not having a heart attack
body feels numb
yet every sensations are prickling on alert
i feel faint
but i can stand and walk perfectly
all because of the word friendship...
have you ever felt as though you don't have true friends?
that everyone is just mere acquaintances...
tell me what i am currently feeling is just a change of weather, can you?
so i have H.O.P.E to look forward to...
but no, its not working...
adamant as i am
the truth is against all odds...
I am someone so insignificant...
It feels like i am falling and falling
but not reaching bottom zero?
maybe if i do finally fall and splat
things will be clearer...
using death against death...
='(
i do understand why people can commit suicide...
i do...............................................................................
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Remember Me?
Prony,
i just finished reading this book by sophie kinsella. =)
one of the best author ever!
like seriously, it is as though i was completely zapped into the fictional world as i read from one page to another.
and i have always found the resemblance in the all the girl character she picks to write about in all her stories. =D
well yeah, i know it is similar to the horoscope/starscope scam we get daily on our local newspaper.
it is exactly that incomprehensible feeling yet i am allowing myself to indulge in dreamy feel.
and while reading her masterpieces, i tend to conjure up alot of things. probably a make believe that i have been wishful for.
can i live in a storybook? life seems to turn out perfect at the end of the day regardless of how much of shit and crap life is at the begining...
i only can wish...
Only love <3
8:02am
i just finished reading this book by sophie kinsella. =)
one of the best author ever!
like seriously, it is as though i was completely zapped into the fictional world as i read from one page to another.
and i have always found the resemblance in the all the girl character she picks to write about in all her stories. =D
well yeah, i know it is similar to the horoscope/starscope scam we get daily on our local newspaper.
it is exactly that incomprehensible feeling yet i am allowing myself to indulge in dreamy feel.
and while reading her masterpieces, i tend to conjure up alot of things. probably a make believe that i have been wishful for.
can i live in a storybook? life seems to turn out perfect at the end of the day regardless of how much of shit and crap life is at the begining...
i only can wish...
Only love <3
8:02am
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