If i were a boy...

"....If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts..."

~Beyonce '08~

i swear i will be a better man...

i would listen to her...
i would purse my lips and shut my mouth!
i would put my ears before my tongue!
because i know how it hurts...
to blabber things without thinking,
at a girl (or anyone else in that matter)

i would learn to respect a girl
before i expect her to do so
i would be thoughtful in conversation
i would be tactful in debating with her
put reasons forward
instead of defending for the sake of winning
just because i have my testosterone to be blamed

if i were a boy
i would not be so obsessed with my own ego
nor would i thrash theirs
i would be a gentleman and treat them like another gentlewoman
i would not segregate
but treat them just like one of us

if i were a boy
i would not discriminate the black skins
and think so proudly of my own bleach white fairness
which can beat the splashes of a ghost shivery whitish aura
because she knows you are as black as a soot inside
neither would i boast about how i should have further my study in western countries instead of the land of Ghandi

if i were a boy,
i would not talk about how i am better then my girlfriends' boyfriend
on how i am bigger
on how i am taller
on how i am better in that sports
on how i am smarter
on how i am like a so-called all rounder
because youth wears off and so do brain neurons

the best comparison i have ever heard was : i dump my gf at home and she wont make a sound but you are so sticky

if i were a boy
i would not show off
nor boast about what i did for my other half
nor compete with other guy on being the best boyfriend material
nor tell ALL my friends what i did over the weekends (intentionally)
!PERIOD!
nor announce publicly to my friends how expensive my anniversary gifts were to my girlfriend
nor bringing up the same repetitive statements about my girlfriends reactions when she sees the diamond
nor share my sex stories on bed to my other guy friends
making it jokes of the year
neither would i ask silly questions that will 'fortunately' lead back on to conversations about me, myself and i
(beams! beams! beams! i hope the gigantic spotlight falls down on his head, crack his skull and he suffers from amnesia, forgetting he ever has a girlfriend and that he was ever a MAN and thinks he is a WOMAN now!!!)

also because i know my girlfriend is not an auction item for people to place bids upon
i would be very sneaky
and do what people least expect of me
i would surprise her and the rest of the girls
and let the verdict be enormously unexpected

if i were a boy
i would not talk about girls wearing push up bras
or injecting hormones
or doing implants
or their sagging boobs
or the wobbly big wide buffalo buttocks
the way they walk
the way they act
because i know everyone has different physique
and it is the heart that matters most
AND MORE SO IF I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND whom others can also degrade and spit comments on

(PUIK PUIK PUIK! think whether your frigging gf is Miss World's Standard first or not-la before talking bad about other girls!!!)
-disclaimer: face and looks discussion can be excusedla-

if i were a boy
i would not degrade girls
and think they are weaker then men
and feel like the most superior human in the whole universe
think that everyone else especially the girls and including my own man-kind are childish
that i'm the MOST matured of them all
then tell about how girls only like to whine, PMS, mood swing, and be materialistic

if i were a boy
i would never ever be a hypocrite
lansi! comment on people's attitude when my own attitude is just as shitty

if i were a boy....
i would be like my beloved him
or like that guy friend who stood by me through thick and thin (most of the time only ler actually)...
because they know how their girlfriend and girlfriends would feel...

and i can never be more proud for the both of you *SMILES*

"...But you're just a boy
You don’t understand (yea you don’t understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts..."

and as a girl, I am very extremely seriously pissed!
pained, hurt, heartfelt, annoyed, angered

*sigh*

and said siva: if i were a boy, you'd be one pretty looking boy
and to esther if u are reading this... there you go, if i were a boy...

on a lighter note,
if i were a boy,
1. i would know how it feels like being on top of a girl (my reply to my own Supremo question one year ago on stage in front of my dearest MMMC dean)
2. i would get a girlfriend just like ME!

T________T

only love <3
Me, Myself and I