-POET-

i wish hatred would grow instead of exasperation...
turnin back...,
travelling on the arm of clock seem to tell no lies
for all those time when memory was the only measure of transport through the tide...
i was left with no choice....
but to try...
that was the sole journey i made to strive yet i meet no sunrise...
i run till paralyse and cry till i dry...
a knot made tight cannot be untangled till i die...

I loss my pride along with the war...
Claiming them back is as hard as rising in love
(coz usualy ppl fall in love~)

Onli Love,
Su DASH Lin, 28 November 2005

COPYRIGHT RESERVED FOR THE SAPSTIKATED, BLINDED AND HEARTBROKEN. DOH~ Sorry Yaar~ APA LU MAU! LMAO! lick ur mum's arse man!

...(I don't give a shyt yet I do)'s entry...

WAY TO GO!!!!!!! Spices of life with a tiny weeny mixture of temper, hyperness and bengang-ness!
AND CAN U BELIEVE IT!!!! I PUT on my miniskirt after 2 and 1/2 months!!! IM THRILLED but when u think of it (hard enough) How pathetic can that be...? Flattering or weird? *thinking, thinking...* I wonder la? Knowing me, sulin used to wear miniskirt almost everyday in college!!! And here, I got to wrap myself up wif long pants and T-shirt and auntiesh blouse everyday…sometimes kurti… another time suite... (0.o) So, is there any difference if I were to wear baju kurung and tudung the whole day for 7days in a week and 4 weeks in a month??? Thff... (Sorry being a lil racist here, dodge for any catabombed tomatoes,potatoes and cabbage aimed at me)

Oh yeah! I’m so pissed at EVERYONE! For leaving me out of the whole itenary! I know dis is very childish but fark it!!!! FUCK EVERYONE! Go fly kites man! I wanna get angry and I DUN GIVE A DAMN SHIT! Sometimes I wonder why I make a huge fuss about small matter... sigh~ But I cant help feeling left out and unwanted... although it might not be true and the reason why I didn’t know was due to unsuccessful chain message… thus resulting in me in not getting the information that I should actually be getting... WTH?? I kepala oso pusing reading the above sentence... @.@
(Excuse me again for cursing... Hussein, I noe it doesn’t suite me when vulgarity comes out from me... but just cant help doing it because it is an easier alternative to cool down)

Next on my random crap: I collected 3 Punjabi/ Karishma suites and one top from Raj fashion today at 9.30pm... (Well, my point is… the shop had closed by then and being the dumb me... I went right in front of the shop at that hour thinking it might be opened for me???) Well, the auntie is nice enough to layan me…It was very nice of her... I juz love her!!! MMMmmuah~ She was having dinner or was about to have it with her husband. Tskk... tskk... tskk~ Bad bad sulin... Gosh... felt quite guilty... Never mind about that first... Am gladful and satisfied with all my suites I got them tailored! They look wonderful! Gonna start my Punjabi suites marathon next week. (Peace sign) A celebration for finishing my first block successfully! Whether or not I made it through with flying colours or just barely scrap through the passing border... THAT IS ANOTHER STORY... Maybe not... the idea of finding out the upcoming horrible results being displayed openly to the public while letting all the kpc seniors checking out sulin's grades doesnt sound too appealing to me...(I am saying this becoz I have my reason and vision in dis matter... Ive kena dat from busybody LUM KAH YEN for Viva grade) Might just crush me right away. Indicating the down fall of Sulin the Great... -.-"


Jeng, jeng, jeng! This is a must to note down! I have a feeling this is an occurrence of once in a lifetime thingy! Just like spectators of the plane crashing activity through the walls of The World Trade Centre & looking at real ice falling down in Subang Jaya on one unexpected evening! (which I missed, I was barely 10 minutes away from Subang when that incident took place... stoning away at Pacific insurance booth chasing flies and annoyingly cursed in my heart at rude passer-bys, what to do? Who ask me to work as a product demonstrator? ) Anson Ngiam Choon Jin aka grasshead of the Shakespearian Animal Farm, the ever tensed up, stressful, depressed, unhappy, miserable, anxious, apprehensive, restless, full time worrier (LOLZ.. sounds like warrior) EMO friend CAME TO EDGE! Truthfully, I was stunned beyond words... However, due to homeostasis and equilibrium which everyone supposedly should have (learnt that in physiology)... he made a run and vanished when everyone else was on the dance floor! WTH~ Anyway... it’s always the first step that matters. According to his couz, sometimes we just have to start somewhere and do something as the stepping stones. Somehow, it can be applied here. =)

Conclusion: I LOVE INDIA...

By the way (again), I cant seem to take off my skirt. Am still wearing it eventhough ive been backfrom clubbing for 3 hrs.



Only Love,
Su-Lin, Tan (02:38am)

no turning back...

I wonder whether heavy thunder and huge droplets is gonna follow up this windy, moody sky.... *stare blankly at the sky through the window right beside me...*


Or isit just me...? Looks like Im gonna have to declare today as emotional day....

Things have been happening and I wasnt even prepared to listen to this so soon... It hurts alot... But to think the person wearing the pain and walking through the ache is going through an appalled, confused phase hurts even more... Who would want to be cheated..? Who..? especially when it is someone so dear to you... U gamble the least of trust u can manage to dig out from ur heart into him, putting the word "family" at risk... Waited for almost a year... When finally... u are cherished with an unimaginable bliss.... The truth has to be revealed... Or rather, rumours have to spread superbly fast from one soul to another creating such scene....

To love or not to love?
To trust or not to trust?
To love and not to trust?

To observe someone so naive and innocent..., full of array of joys.. bright and shiny like a polished diamond... It was like she has found herself... She has finally discover her missing piece... Now...,the abrupt fall that hit the fairytale she has alwayz wanted is not easy...

I havent taken my stand... to believe or not to believe... its juz hurtful and upsetting to see her losing grip and looking totally lost and helpless... And this time shes alone in the decision making... She picked the route to today... She picked a route of solitary without the usual pillar of mummy and daddy... She has me... But i hardly can do anything unless HELP HER KILL DAT JACKASS! I swear i will make him feel sorry for knowing me and her if at all the whole thing arent juz as simple as rumours and misunderstandings...

"However there is no turning back....
Falling into a spell a strong as Love is like falling eternity withinthe space....
My opinion: wait till another hensum astronaut to rescue you.. Fingers cross hoping that he brings along extra oxygen tank"

*long sigh..*

By the way... Im missing my kenari....SO SO SO SO MUCH! I miss the time I can juz pop my butt into it and start the engine, swerve on the road... I miss the driving-with-style feel... Speed and travel with the wind...(along with a few summon tixs) LOLZ... I miss KL road. I miss the heavy traffic... I miss civilisation....

QUES: wats is Trendelenburg's positive test? Ans: trend of elephant and bug! DAMN it!

Pss.... come ere'.....

BOOYAH!!!!!!!!!!! *cleared throat* I, me, mua, watashi, saya, wa, aku, wo, yeneke ingin mengambil kesempatan untuk memohon ampun dari para peminat blog aku... due to the vulgarity episode or scene I made in my previous entry....

Anywayz.. today is yet another brand new day... HOW??? (shit! ive just noticed how have been using the sun.., birds... and the bees... to start heating up a blog entry for this past few days!!! wassup wit me!) W-A-T-E-V-E-R~

Guess wat ppl? I sat for my block exam today (block=semester)... It was Anatomy i am talking about! ANAT! ANAT! GROSS anatomy, histology and embryology!!!!! The fear factor that every medical student has! It is juz like sitting for a chemistry exam by Kimberly... where u juz stare at the paper from one border to another... upperleft right to lower left right angle absorbing all the weird terms and signs.. specchless..! Of course anat is not about calculation but.... ONE muscles with its origin, insertion, nerve, artery and nerve supply together gether with the course and relation CAN send u straight to level below hell if u do not do constant revision! And yes... Dr.Sexy Tan here was still in dreamland... thinking... she could make it without much effort! AHA! Never in my entire life i had gone for an exam so freaked out. Nonetheless... I was obviously unprepared for such important exam... yeah.. cant believe myself either...

anwayz.. not much of a story to tell.. not like im emo too... i cant seem to write when im sleepy... IM SOO SLEPPY! okok... another day shall arrive along with the inspiration i needed to blog................................................................................. till den.... CHIWOZ! pray for my physio exam tomorow.......

SUX!

WARNING: 18 SX! (not suitable for kids especially shereen and sugin, wanna read dun come after me!)

OK DUDE! BLOGGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM IN my most very paling tersangat lowest self esteem! why everythin i do, i feel like something is wrong!????? i dun care about wat others say! I did great! so wat! I DUN THINK SOOO!!!!!! I SUCKX IN EVERYTHIN ! EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!

AND NOW someone is gettin on my nerve without much reason! wat da fuck man! !!!!! she juz secrete SUCH FOUL SMELLY AURA AND MAKES ME HATE HATE HATE HATE despise LOATHE heR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DUN FREAKIGN CARE!!!! DO NOT LEAVE ANY COMMENT ANYONE!!!! IM WARNING U GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAUGHTER OF THE LOUSIEST FAGGOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FREAKING BITCH!!!!!!!! BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GUESS WHO I AM REFERRING TO???? DAILOU's SO CALLED manipal's BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THINK SHE WILL die earlier isit if juz smilE ABIT! DAMN IT!!!!!!!! HOW MANY TIMES I CAUGHT BEING SUCH A DUMBASS!!! THINK U ARE DAMN GREAT! GO GET URSELF LAID AND BE PROUD ABOUT IT LAR!! OR JUZ STRIP IN TIGER CIRCLE AND WAIT FOR THE yellow dirty oily indian loser wearing yellow teeth shag U !!!!! DMAN U!!!!!!!!!

SEE! now no longer the sulin dat u guys normally NOE!!!!!!! IM FULL OF VULGARITY! IM JUZ USELESS!!!! IM JUZ USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN ANYWAY! WATS DA POINT WE GOTTA WEAR FREAKING MASK EVERYDAY TO COVER everythin beneath!!!!!???? WHY????!!!!!!!!!!!

I ALWAYZ LET opportunity FLY AWAY!!! FAR FAR AWAY!!!!! i never noe how to grasp it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO WAT THERE IS ANOTHER CHANCE IN THE FUTURE????????? I JUZ DUN FUCKING CARE ABOUT FUTURE AND BE POSITIVE!!!!! DATS JUZ BEING IN DENIAL!!!!!!!! YEAH!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I WANNA THINK OF THE MOST NEGATIVE THING I CAN EVER THINK OF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the ebb and flow of weather... rain... partially winter...

:: i love dis pic!!! how many times have u taken candid shoots under umbrella while raining..?::

I suspect that winter has arrived in the northern piece of land here in India... A huge drop in temperature can be felt as recent as the beginning of last week... No doubt the sun is still glaring brightly here while tanning ME up like an over-bbqed chunk of meat in the afternoon...., but the weather at night is V...E...R...Y... COLD! *Bbrrrrr~* Guess it must be due to the wind course.. Make my sole and fingertips all frozen up and all I wanna do is wrap myself up comfortably under a few layers of blankets...jackets and socks... We call it insulation-generation of thermoregulation thus obtaining homeostasis! (WTF! DAT DAMN QUESTIONED WAS thrown directly on my face during Viva and I just fucking stoned at the lecturer! And oh yeah... I had my Physio Viva exam as lately as today... Some sort of oral test in Medicine school!) To make things worse... by cuddling myself warm.... I eventually am heading to catastrophe! COZ I have EXAMS (block exam dis one week) and I KEPT FALLING ASLEEP!

*sighh.. gruntle... mumble...* I can't believe I managed to study for 2 minutes and fell asleep and woke up one hour later... study for another 15 minutes and fell back into dream-full of sleep! ARGHHH!!! The amount of time i "woke up-look at the table clock-stoned-stared at one sentence in physio journal-set alarm-sleep-dreamt-woke up" was uncountable! I lost track of the time i woke up and sleep back!

Anywayz... lets juz leave out the crappy part of my life.... As i was sayin! WINTER! ^-^ I love the weather actually... makes my room feels so cool and calm... A very inviting paradise to look forward to after a full dosage of classes everyday... Unlike a few weeks back where I would be welcomed back with a gush of HOT warm air on the 4th floor's hell... Now..., stepping into my room is just like crossing through a tension-filter barrier that separates the divine realm from the reality... And hey... Ive picked up my artistic side of me yet again by drawing.... Came up with a one hell of a good masterpiece the other day (4am) when i was dipping my brain into a pool of physio notes on BLOOD, MUSCLE and NERVES.... (yeah, to me any one of my shittiest drawing is a MASTERPIECE since beauty lies in the eye of the beholder!Bluek~) What to do... sleppy mar... to avoid directing my body towards the inviting zone called bed... I had to keep myself awake.... -.-"

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:: dedication to u pig! =) ::


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:: my study table viewed anteriorly::




:: my first attempt, ignore the card. concentrate on the drawing::



:: there goes my artistic nature ::

Interbatch hotties??!!! Kevin Su-Lin? BWAHAHHAHAH!

not like i played for the last 2 volleyball games... juz a subt but hey i did a marvellous job as supporter! natural loud speaker talent! For the first time i am so close yet so far.... However.. we won the first two rounds. First one against batch 16 and semi-finals against the defending champion eh! ^-^

Frankly i do not have much confidence in any sports. WAT do u expect.. for 18 years, i had been a stranger to the world of any kind of sports and now i wanna start from baby steps... Of course its pretty tough.. But im sure if i have the will... I will pull through it somehow... Thus, i must give myself some credits.. *pat pat my own head*

One thing i respect about my batch mates are... they are supportive and they can be calm... It so happened dat throughout the games... they treated it like a normal game and try not to feel the tension rising.... Whilst at another two courts... Basketball men and volleball men.. were pretty heated up! DAMN! they were good. Anson as usual managed to serve his purpose in the court.. One as one of the best player and two... pencuci mata for most of the bimbos.. LOLZ. The idol for gurls from different angles and border of the court... my gosh... even batch 16 gurls are all over him.....!!! (no doubt he showed off quite a lil' and i dont deny that he did look WOW~) but hey... it compensates for the major time he spent looking like a freak and a nerd tryin hard to study... No outing.. no dinner.. no lunch and a no..no.. outta his room other den lecture hall and basketball game of course... (i think he will murder me if he reads dis) Dun giv a shit lar.. its my blogpage and i can write watever i want! So basically, ansun the grass head. GOOD JOB!


:: our pseudo grass head superstar (left) and mua pseudo couz (right) under an umbrealla of such torture.. arent they adorable..? aww~::



and hey.. sports realy make a person healthier either mentally and physically... im feeling way better now... and making a good progress in my social life... getting to noe my batch mates better! =)

1.derivation of coach Liew from Rueben somehow become coach Riew, R for rueben! ... A guy ive known existed in taylors a-level wif the afro hair style..

2. SOTONG aka FOO KOK TONG was my PRIMARY SCHOOL MATE???!!! wat a small small small world... who wud have thought that i will meet someone from Sekolah Kebangsaan Jelutong Barat Pulau Pinang... NO WONDER he looked freaking familiar when i first saw him! *gasp in disbelif* he noes vee liam, dats how i got to noe about him being my school mate.. he noes mei hui's sis oso....

3. Liyana, nurul, che ah and bla bla bla... these malay gurls sure bring back hell a lot of my national service (PKN) reminiscense... somehow i alwayz think that malays are friendlier than any other races ive known...

4. Eng han! WAT DA FUCK! used to be in the same bio class and never spoken a word to him and everything changed when we got to noe him here.. Our emo friend no.2.... Poor guy... got drowned in the shittiest pool of love ... and hes not as bubbly as last few weeks anymore....

In short! LIFE SEEMS GREAT NOW!
p/s: KEVIN is god damn cute! eye candy! eye candY! lolz! reminds me of sue yee so much... *winks* followed up by electrotnic spread of grinsss......

Only Love,
SueLynN tan (11.44am) room 417 sharada

any chance of glorious moment in a defeated, abandoned piece of land...?

bloggie... u noe...,
everything seems so dull and dark and cold today...... despite the rays of the shining sun..... and the heated, upcoming male basketball game of my batch....against batch 16.... (who would have thought..?) i have been transformed into a world of black and white again....

dis is juz not one of my day... Su-Lin? the ever bubbly chirpy soul who never failed to......... everything is juz incomplete..... shes missing.... somebody call the cops! ive lose it yet once again....

am not being myself... am not myself.... am acting weird... am a whinner... sud just work as a full time whinner for the past two days... i could have done better earning some credit for being someone with not-recognized ability....

how i wish dat today tears can help soothen me...
how i wish dat a hug can make a difference...

coz.. nothing seem convincing now... i wana cry and get over with things .. yet resorting to crying juz not gonna solve anything.... im heading nowhere again... im sick of being such a pretender! its eating me alive again.. is dis a sign? is it?

the question shall be left unanswered........ *sharp inhale* ...............sigh.........................
a...g....a....i...n..............

Life heart...

LIFE............

Life always has its way of spinning around... in result of it... we in turn, lost our sense of direction... Sometimes we are obstructed from the view as of to where we are heading....

Do u ever wonder.. which direction we usually travel? let me see.... Not right not the left.... not straight not reversed... but.....

One moment... u are heading towards cloud nine and another flicked seconds... u zoomed all the way down hell.....

But then again...no matter what..., confrontation has to be made..... life has to go on.... Whether or not u are ready to move on... This is because time and tide waits for no men....

As for me..., ive got alot to say about my life... nothing in particular... not that it is a fairy tale nor it can be used as a role model.... But it has taught me ways of dealing with myself and the rest of the world.... It is the imperfections in life that makes life prefect...